The ABC's of Dealing With Negative People

 

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How to deal with negative people

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The ABC’s Of Dealing With Negative People by Penny McDaniel

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Hello! I’m so delighted that you’ve decided to get this e-book. If you are here, it’s because you need some guidance in dealing with negative people in your life. They are around us. At work. In the neighborhood. At family functions. And, at times, in our own home. Sometimes they come out of nowhere and just suck the life out of us. You try to remain positive and strong, but their negativity drains you, exhausts you, and may even depress you.

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Call them Energy Vampires. Call them Emotional Terrorists. Call them whatever you will. But whenever you are around a negative person, you experience what Judy Orloff describes in her book, Positive Energy, "a sense of being demeaned, constricted or attacked. You intuitively feel unsafe, tense or on guard. You sense prickly, off-putting vibes. You can't wait to get away from them. Your energy starts to fizzle. You may feel beleaguered or ill."

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Becoming aware is the first step. Spotting them and gaining an understanding of how they operate is the next step. You may know this kind of person as the drama queen or king, the criticizer, the complainer, the blamer, the fixer-upper (needs A LOT of help); you can probably add more to this list.

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In this e-book, you will learn practical ways to empower you as you deal with negative people. If you’d like to connect with me on Facebook, you can find me at http://www. facebook.com/wordsofwisdomandadvice. My blog is also available at http: //pennymcdanielspiritualguidance.blogspot.com. If you know someone who you think would benefit from this e-book, please feel free to pass it on. Namaste, Penny McDaniel

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Overview... "Energy is contagious: either you affect people or you infect people," says T. Harv Eker. Indeed. There are two kinds of people in the world. There are those whose energy encourages, uplifts, and strengthens us whenever we are around them. They are the "affectors" because they affect us in positive ways.

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And there are those whose energy discourages, downgrades, and weakens us, especially if we are in a vulnerable or unprotected state. These are the "infectors" because their negativity contaminates us if our "immunity" has been compromised. Personally, I'd rather be around people whose energy leaves me feeling more energized than depleted, but sometimes these "infectors" can be hard to avoid.

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While dealing with negative people can't always be avoided, there are some things to understand about them to help you in your dealings with them. First, they are creatures of habit. Their negativity is part of a pattern, and criticism is part of their character. These are not isolated incidents. Recognize the pattern and realize that you can't change it. They have to want to change their way of thinking. Second, more often than not, they are against things, rather than for them. Do they know what they stand for? Rarely, if at all. But they will certainly tell you what they stand against.

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Third, they can't give compliments. What starts out as a compliment is always followed by a qualifier. For example, "I enjoyed dinner, but..." That qualifier negates whatever positivity was intended. Fourth, they lack passion. They aren't accomplishing much in life. They don't have a vision for the future. There's no attempt at or no room for personal improvement. Trying to involve them in activities is met with criticism, defiance, and in some cases, anger. Since they are against so much, few people want to be around them or work with them. Fifth, they gossip about and criticize others. If they talk about others in front of you, chances are they are talking about you to others behind your back.

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Sixth, they are master complainers. Sadly, nothing is ever good enough for them because they will always find fault. On the road of life, they focus on the potholes instead of the beauty and excitement of the adventure. Seventh, they bring the past into the present. They refuse to let bygones be bygones by continually rehashing incidents that have happened. Forgiveness is not their forte, unfortunately.

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Try this... The next time someone's name shows up on an email, text message, or caller ID, note your immediate emotional reaction. If the person is someone who energizes you, you will be happy to respond to that person, but if that person's name makes you wince or curse upon seeing it, that's an indication of the negative influence this person has in your life. We're not always going to be able to avoid dealing with negative people, but we don't have to let them infect our lives. When we have an understanding of their actions, then we are more equipped when we do deal with them.

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The ABC’s of Dealing With Negative People Negative people are going to appear in our lives at various times. We can avoid them for the most part, but there will be times when that is simply not possible. Rather than perpetuate the negativity, it's always better to take a look at what you could do to increase the positive vibration instead of lowering it. We may not be able to change negative people single-handedly, but we can model positivity by becoming self-aware, tapping into our compassion, and protecting the positive space we attract and create.

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The ABC’s of Dealing With Negative People No one can tell you that dealing with a negative person is a pleasant experience. It is downright uncomfortable at times. But when we build our awareness and develop an understanding, we can take steps to protect ourselves when we do have to deal with them. Dealing with negative people can be quite challenging; they have the ability to change the moods of others in an instant, but only if we allow them. As long as we are aware of those influences, we can prepare and protect ourselves so that they don't infect us. It's our choice to let negative people infect us or not.

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The ABC’s of Dealing With Negative People The healthiest approach you can take is to examine your actions and conduct yourself in ways that do not reinforce the person's negativity. Having an action plan that allows you to act in a way that doesn't reinforce their negativity and one that may even help them is key. Use these methods to maintain a sense of compassion without getting ensnared in their web.

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ABSTAIN... Don't engage in the negativity. You may have provided a listening ear, offered help, and provided support in the past, but if the person continues to harp on the same issues, it's time to disengage. Try switching the topic to lighten the mood. Make for light conversation by talking about new shows, new books, daily occurrences, hobbies or happy news. If that doesn't work, then it's time to excuse yourself.

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