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universal praise for bestselling author dr ruth k westheimer dr ruth westheimer is the stealth fighter of sex education san jose mercury news 1995 her image is synonymous with sex time 1987 dr ruth writes the way she talks enthusiastically nonjudgmentally and informatively booklist 1994 her energy level is higher than that of a charged particle people magazine 1985 she can seemingly say things on the air that no one else can this could be because she is short and sweet and takes her job seriously new york times 1985 america s star sexologist tv guide her manner is down-to-earth and reassuring she tries to make people feel better value themselves trust their instincts ladies home journal 1986 if height were measured in courage determination and hard work this little lady would be 10 feet tall newsday 1987 her name and the distinctive thrill of her voice have become inextricably linked with the subject of sex new york times 1992 this textbook style resource is comprehensive and easy to use accessible and up-to-date it focuses on basic sexuality information and education for adults siecus sexuality information and education council of the united states on sex for dummies 1st edition team ling[close]
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sex for dummies® 3rd edition published by wiley publishing inc 111 river st hoboken nj 07030-5774 www.wiley.com copyright © 2007 by wiley publishing inc indianapolis indiana text and author-created materials copyright © 2007 dr ruth k westheimer published by wiley publishing inc indianapolis indiana published simultaneously in canada no part of this publication may be reproduced stored in a retrieval system or transmitted in any form or by any means electronic mechanical photocopying recording scanning or otherwise except as permitted under sections 107 or 108 of the 1976 united states copyright act without either the prior written permission of the publisher or authorization through payment of the appropriate per-copy fee to the copyright clearance center 222 rosewood drive danvers ma 01923 978-750-8400 fax 978-646-8600 requests to the publisher for permission should be addressed to the legal department wiley publishing inc 10475 crosspoint blvd indianapolis in 46256 317-572-3447 fax 317-572-4355 or online at http www.wiley.com/go/permissions trademarks wiley the wiley publishing logo for dummies the dummies man logo a reference for the rest of us the dummies way dummies daily the fun and easy way dummies.com and related trade dress are trademarks or registered trademarks of john wiley sons inc and/or its affiliates in the united states and other countries and may not be used without written permission all other trademarks are the property of their respective owners wiley publishing inc is not associated with any product or vendor mentioned in this book limit of liability/disclaimer of warranty the contents of this work are intended to further general scientific research understanding and discussion only and are not intended and should not be relied upon as recommending or promoting a specific method diagnosis or treatment by physicians for any particular patient the publisher and the author make no representations or warranties with respect to the accuracy or completeness of the contents of this work and specifically disclaim all warranties including without limitation any implied warranties of fitness for a particular purpose in view of ongoing research equipment modifications changes in governmental regulations and the constant flow of information relating to the use of medicines equipment and devices the reader is urged to review and evaluate the information provided in the package insert or instructions for each medicine equipment or device for among other things any changes in the instructions or indication of usage and for added warnings and precautions readers should consult with a specialist where appropriate the fact that an organization or website is referred to in this work as a citation and/or a potential source of further information does not mean that the author or the publisher endorses the information the organization or website may provide or recommendations it may make further readers should be aware that internet websites listed in this work may have changed or disappeared between when this work was written and when it is read no warranty may be created or extended by any promotional statements for this work neither the publisher nor the author shall be liable for any damages arising herefrom for general information on our other products and services please contact our customer care department within the u.s at 800-762-2974 outside the u.s at 317-572-3993 or fax 317-572-4002 for technical support please visit www.wiley.com/techsupport wiley also publishes its books in a variety of electronic formats some content that appears in print may not be available in electronic books library of congress control number 2006932685 isbn-13 978-0-470-04523-7 isbn-10 0-470-04523-x manufactured in the united states of america 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1 3b/rz/rq/qw/in team ling[close]
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about the author dr ruth k westheimer is a psychosexual therapist who helped pioneer the field of media psychology with her radio program sexually speaking which first aired in new york in 1981 within a few years she had built a communications network to distribute her expertise that included television books newspapers games calendars home videos and computer software dr westheimer studied psychology at the sorbonne in paris received her master s degree in sociology from the graduate faculty of the new school of social research and her doctorate of education edd in the interdisciplinary study of the family from columbia university teacher s college working at planned parenthood prompted her to further her education in human sexuality by studying under dr helen singer kaplan at new york hospitalcornell university medical center she later participated in the program for five years as an adjunct associate professor she has also taught at lehman college brooklyn college adelphi university columbia university and west point she is currently an associate fellow at calhoun college at yale university where she teaches a class on the family a fellow at butler college at princeton university where she teaches a class on the jewish family in the department of judaic studies and an adjunct professor at new york university dr westheimer is a fellow of new york academy of medicine and has her own private practice in new york she frequently lectures around the world including at universities and has twice been named college lecturer of the year she has received honorary doctorates from hebrew union college institute of religion trinity college and lehman college as well as a medal of excellence from columbia teacher s college dr westheimer has written 31 books some of the others include dr ruth s encyclopedia of sex dr ruth s sex after 50 the art of arousal the olive and the tree the secret strengths of the druze and rekindling romance for dummies and dr ruth can be found on the web at www.drruth.com pierre a lehu has been dr ruth s minister of communications for more than 25 years he has co-authored 13 books with her team ling[close]
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dedication the reticent do not learn the hot-tempered do not teach chapters of the fathers 2.6 to the memory of my entire family who perished during the holocaust i am thankful that they had the opportunity to instill in me the much cherished values of the jewish tradition before they were lost to me and to the memory of my beloved late husband manfred westheimer to my wonderful family of now my daughter miriam westheimer edd my son-in-law joel einleger my grandson ari einleger my granddaughter leora einleger my son joel westheimer phd my daughter-in-law barbara leckie phd my granddaughter michal leckie and my grandson benjamin westheimer author s acknowledgments i am grateful and appreciate the tremendous contribution in writing this book made by pierre lehu pierre and i are now entering our 26th year of working together he is the best minister of communications anybody could wish for a special toast to pierre and to many more years of cooperation i have so many people to thank it would require an additional chapter so let me just mention a few david best md gwynne bloomfield-pike marcie citron martin englisher cynthia fuchs epstein phd and howard epstein gabe erem david goslin phd david hager mark hager alfred kaplan steve kaplan phd robert krasner md ronnie and michael kassan john kilcullen marga and bill kunreuther stephen lassonde phd gabrielle lehu peter lehu lou lieberman phd and mary cuadrado phd john and ginger lollos sanford lopater phd jonathan mark mary jane minkin md dale ordes fred and ann rosenberg cliff and eleanor rubin peter schaefer joanne seminara rose and simeon schreiber daniel schwartz amir shaviv jerry singerman phd richard stein hannah strauss betsy and william sledge md kathy welton greg willenborg ben yagoda and froma zeitlin phd to the wiley staff what a terrific hard working competent and expert group you are to work with thanks especially to stephen kippur wiley s president for his overall supervision and to alissa schwipps and vicki adang for their hard work i also want to thank kathy nebenhaus kathy cox lindsay mcgregor and our new technical editors christopher f fariello phd ma lmft and leeanne m nazer md team ling[close]
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publisher s acknowledgments we re proud of this book please send us your comments through our dummies online registration form located at www.dummies.com/register some of the people who helped bring this book to market include the following acquisitions editorial and media development senior project editor alissa schwipps previous edition allyson grove joan friedman acquisitions editors kathleen m cox lindsay lefevere assistant editor courtney allen copy editor vicki adang previous edition corey dalton editorial program coordinator hanna k scott technical editors christopher f fariello phd ma lmft and leeanne m nazer md senior editorial manager jennifer ehrlich editorial assistants erin calligan david lutton cartoons rich tennant www.the5thwave.com composition services project coordinator kristie rees layout and graphics lavonne cook stephanie d jumper jessica kramer barbara moore barry offringa lynsey osborn alicia b south erin zeltner special art kathryn born medical illustrator proofreaders linda quigley brian h walls indexer anne leach publishing and editorial for consumer dummies diane graves steele vice president and publisher consumer dummies joyce pepple acquisitions director consumer dummies kristin a cocks product development director consumer dummies michael spring vice president and publisher travel kelly regan editorial director travel publishing for technology dummies andy cummings vice president and publisher dummies technology/general user composition services gerry fahey vice president of production services debbie stailey director of composition services team ling[close]
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contents at a glance introduction 1 part i getting ready for sex 9 chapter 1 so you want to know more about sex 11 chapter 2 tuning the male organ 23 chapter 3 demystifying the female parts 39 chapter 4 courtship marriage and commitment getting to yes 57 chapter 5 it s all about control contraception and sex 71 chapter 6 growing up fast the challenges of the teen years 101 part ii doing it 115 chapter 7 foreplay revving up your engines 117 chapter 8 intercourse coming together for the first time 131 chapter 9 changing positions variations on a theme 143 chapter 10 going for the big o 163 chapter 11 afterplay embracing the moment 173 chapter 12 spicing up your sex life 179 part iii different strokes 185 chapter 13 enjoying oral sex 187 chapter 14 savoring solo play and fantasy 197 chapter 15 keeping up with cybersex and other hot stuff 211 chapter 16 celebrating same-sex relationships 227 chapter 17 conquering the challenges of mature sex 239 chapter 18 thriving sexually with illness or disability 245 part iv having a healthy sex life 257 chapter 19 what you can catch and how to prevent it 259 chapter 20 erectile dysfunction and other male sexual problems 279 chapter 21 low libido and other female sexual problems 299 chapter 22 avoiding sexual relationship pitfalls 313 chapter 23 sex and the law 321 chapter 24 teaching your children about sex and keeping them safe 333 team ling[close]
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part v the part of tens 347 chapter 25 ten dumb things people believe about sex 349 chapter 26 ten tips for safer sex 355 chapter 27 ten things women wish men knew about sex 361 chapter 28 ten things men wish women knew about sex 367 chapter 29 ten tips for truly great lovers 373 appendix a step into my office 379 appendix b terrific resource 387 index 391 team ling[close]
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table of contents introduction 1 about this book 2 conventions used in this book 3 what you re not to read 3 foolish assumptions 4 how this book is organized 4 part i getting ready for sex 4 part ii doing it 5 part iii different strokes 5 part iv having a healthy sex life 5 part v the part of tens 6 icons used in this book 6 where to go from here 7 part i getting ready for sex 9 chapter 1 so you want to know more about sex .11 what is sex anyway 12 so why do we have it 12 making babies a natural outcome 12 enjoying a sensory experience 17 understanding the ins and outs of the sexual response cycle 17 partnering up 19 for love and the long haul 20 for lust and the fun of it all 20 flying solo 20 playing it safe 21 adjusting over time 21 are you ready to get busy 22 chapter 2 tuning the male organ .23 the penis inside and out 23 the three sponges no cleaning involved 24 at the head of the class the glans 25 size and sexual performance 27 getting erection direction 29 team ling[close]
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xii sex for dummies 3rd edition grasping the basics of your testicles 30 making the descent 30 manufacturing hormones 31 producing sperm 31 why boys wear cups 34 at risk for testicular cancer 35 the prostate gland 36 checking the prostate 37 treating the prostate 37 chapter 3 demystifying the female parts .39 making time for a grand tour 40 translating all those latin terms 40 viva the vulva 41 the hymen symbol of virginity 44 the vagina the main thoroughfare 44 at your cervix 46 the uterus it stretches and stretches and stretches 47 the ovaries and fallopian tubes 47 the men words menstruation and menopause 48 menstruation your monthly visitor 48 menopause the change of life 51 breasts hanging in there 53 feeding babies 53 getting sexual pleasure 54 checking for breast cancer 54 be proud of your breasts 56 chapter 4 courtship marriage and commitment getting to yes .57 starting off with courtship 57 finding the right partner difficult yes impossible no 58 believing in yourself 61 taking charge 62 moving on to commitment 63 deciding that someone is sex worthy 63 becoming friends with benefits 63 sealing the deal making marriage work 64 knowing that love isn t enough 64 handling children and commitment 65 putting your marriage first 65 strengthening your marriage 66 chapter 5 it s all about control contraception and sex .71 why use contraceptives 71 warding off stds 72 preventing the natural outcome 72 team ling[close]
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table of contents considering your birth control options 74 sterilization 74 the pill and other hormonal methods 79 the diaphragm condom and other barrier methods 84 natural family planning 91 facing facts about birth control myths 93 douching doesn t prevent pregnancy 94 one time is all it takes 94 you can get pregnant without orgasms 94 stand-ups don t stop sperm 95 pregnancy and periods can mix 95 pulling out is no protection 95 if your method fails 96 keeping the baby 96 putting the baby up for adoption 97 ending the pregnancy early 97 making your decision 99 xiii chapter 6 growing up fast the challenges of the teen years .101 being a teenager in the twenty-first century 102 evolving into adulthood 103 the physical changes 104 the psychological changes 104 dealing with common concerns 105 friendships 105 dating 106 sex 107 masturbation 111 sexual orientation 112 peer pressure 112 cyberporn 112 protecting your privacy 113 don t stop here 114 part ii doing it 115 chapter 7 foreplay revving up your engines .117 foreplay for life 117 linking the emotional to the physical 118 setting the stage 119 sending flowers 119 thinking ahead 119 dressing for success 120 dinner for two 120 team ling[close]
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xiv sex for dummies 3rd edition getting physical 121 bestowing a kaleidoscope of kisses 121 making the most of massage 123 turning up the heat in the hot tub 123 pinpointing erogenous zones with body mapping 124 switching gears engaging the genitals 126 looking under the hood foreplay for her 126 checking the dipstick foreplay for him 129 moving on to the main event 130 variety is the spice of foreplay 130 chapter 8 intercourse coming together for the first time .131 what s the rush 131 making your first time special 133 choosing your partner wisely 134 avoiding the dangers of demon rum 134 giving the green light 135 picking protection 136 expressing your wishes 136 the first time for women 137 breaking the hymen 137 if you re too tight 137 what to expect 139 the first time for men 139 controlling your erection 139 premature ejaculation 140 working through the problem 140 the first time all over again 140 chapter 9 changing positions variations on a theme .143 the good old missionary position 144 mating face-to-face 144 recognizing drawbacks 145 varying it up 146 the female-superior position 146 reaching maximum pleasure 147 stressing about stamina 147 a variation to make your head spin 148 taking her from behind 148 gaining a new perspective 149 you might want kneepads 149 experimenting with some alternatives 149 team ling[close]
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