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the 3 mistakes of my life a story about business cricket and religion chetan bhagat rupa co

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acknowledgements my readers you that is to whom i owe all my success and motivation my life belongs to you now and serving you is the most meaningful thing i can do with my life i want to share something with you i am very ambitious in my writing goals however i don t want to be india s most admired writer i just want to be india s most loved writer admiration passes love endures to shinie antony a friend who has been with me all these years and who critically reviews my work and ensures that it is fit for my reader s consumption my family which continues to support me in all my ventures specially my brother ketan bhagat for his critical feedback from sydney and cricket freak brother-in-law anand suryanaryan who told me more about cricket than anyone else would have the people of gujarat in particular ahmedabad where i spent some of the most wonderful and formative years of my life my publishers rupa and co who have fulfilled all my dreams and continue to pursue the goal of making india read my friends in the film industry who have given me a new platform to tell my stories from and who teach me new things everyday in particular atul agnihotri raju hirani alvira khan sharman joshi vipul shah imtiaz ali shirish kunder farah khan and salman khan the madras players and evam theatre group who turned my stories into wonderful plays my friends in the media especially those who have understood my intentions for my country and are with me my colleagues at deutsche bank my friends in mumbai and hong kong god who continues to look after me despite my flaws.

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prologue it is not everyday you sit in front of your computer on a saturday morning and get an email like this from ahd_businessman@gmail.com sent 12/28/2005 11.40 p.m to info@chetanbhagat.com subject a final note dear chetan this email is a combined suicide note and a confession letter i have let people down and have no reason to live you don t know me i m an ordinary boy in ahmedabad who read your books and somehow i felt i could write to you after that i can t really tell anyone what i am doing to myself which is taking a sleeping pill everytime i end a sentence so i thought i would tell you i kept my coffee cup down and counted five full stops already i made th re e mis tak e s i don t wan t t o go in t o details my suicide is not a sentimental decision as many around me know i am a good businessman because i have little emotion this is no knee -jerk reaction i waited over three years watched ish s silent face everyday but after he refused my offer yesterday i had no choice left i have no regrets either maybe i d have wanted to talk to vidya once more ­ but that doesn t seem like such a good idea right now sorry to bother you with this but i felt like i had to tell someone you have ways to improve as an author but you do write decent books have a nice weekend regards businessman 17 18 19 somewhere in ahmedabad a young ordinary boy had popped nineteen sleeping pills while typing out a mail to me yet he expected me to have a nice weekend the coffee refused to go down my throat i broke into a cold sweat `one you wake up late two you plant yourself in front of the computer first thing in the morning are you even aware that you have a family anusha said in case it isn t obvious enough from the authoritative tone anusha is my wife i had promised to go furniture shopping with her ­ a promise that was made ten weekends ago she took my coffee mug away and jiggled the back of my chair `we need dining chairs hey you look worried she said i pointed to the monitor.

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`businessman she said as she finished reading the mail she looked pretty shaken up too and it is from ahmedabad i said that is all we know `you sure this is real she said a quiver in her voice `this is not spam i said `it is addressed to me my wife pulled a stool to sit down i guess we really did need write extra chairs `think she said `we ve got to let someone know his parents maybe `how i don t know where the hell it came from i said and who do we know in ahmedabad `we met in ahmedabad remember anusha said a pointless statement i thought yes we d been classmates at iim-a years ago `so `call the institute prof basant or someone she sniffed and left the room oh no the daal is burning there are advantages in having a wife smarter than you i could never be a detective i searched the institute numbers on the internet and called an operator connected me to prof basant s residence i checked the time 10.00 a.m in singapore 7.30 a.m in india it is a bad idea to mess with a prof early in the morning `hello a sleepy voice answered had to be the prof `prof basant hi this is chetan bhagat calling your old student remember `who he said with a clear lack of curiosity in his voice bad start i told him about the course he took for us and how w e had voted him the friendliest professor in the campus flattery didn t help much either oh that chetan bhagat he said like he knew a million of them you are a writer now no yes sir i said that one so why are you writing books tough question sir i stalled ok a simple one why are you calling me so early on a saturday i told him why and forwarded the email to him no name eh he said as he read the mail he could be in a hospital somewhere in ahmedabad he would have just checked in maybe he is dead or maybe he is at home and this was a hoax i said i was blabbering i wanted help ­ for the boy and me the prof had asked a good question why the hell did i write books ­ to get into this we can check hospitals prof said i can ask a few students but a name surely helps hey wait this boy has a gmail account maybe he is on orkut as well or-what life is tough when you are always talking to people smarter than you.

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you are so out of touch chetan orkut is a networking site gmail users sign up there if he is a member and we are lucky we can check his profile i heard him clicking keys and sat before my own pc i had just reached the orkut site when prof basant exclaimed aha ahmedabad businessman there is a brief profile here the name only says g patel interests are cricket business mathematics and friends doesn t seem like he uses orkut much though what are you talking about prof basant i woke up to a suicide note written exclusively to me now you are telling me about his hobbies can you help me or a pause then i will get some students we will search for a new young patient called g patel suspected of sleeping pill overdose we will call you if we find anything ok yes sir i said breathing properly after a long time and how is anusha you guys bunked my classes for dates and flow forget me she is fine sir good i always felt she was smarter than you anyway let s find your boy the prof said and hung up besides furniture shopping i had to finish an office presentation my boss michel s boss was due from new york hoping to impress him michel asked me to make a presentation of the group with fifty charts for three consecutive nights last week i had worked until 1:00 a.m but had gotten only halfway this is a suggestion don t take it the wrong way but do consider taking a bath my wife said i looked at her just an option she said i think she is overcautious sometimes i don t bite back yes yes i will i said and stared at the computer again thoughts darted through my head should i call some hospitals myself what if prof basant dozed off again what if he could not collect the students what if g patel was dead and why am i becoming so involved here i took a reluctant shower i opened the office presentation but found myself unable to type a single word i refused breakfast though regretted it moments later ­ as hunger and anxiety did not go well together my phone rang at 1.33 p.m `hello prof basant s voice was unmistakable we have a match at civil hospital his name is govind patel twenty-five years of age a second-year student of mine found him `and

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`and he is alive but won t talk even to his family must be in shock `what are the doctors saying i said nothing it is a government hospital what do you expect anyway they will flush his stomach and send him home i won t worry too much now will ask a student to check again in the evening but what is his story what happened all that i don t know listen don t get too involved india is a big country these things happen all the time the more you probe the more the chances of the police harassing you next i called the civil hospital however the operator did not know about the case and there was no facility to transfer the line to the ward either anusha too was relieved that the boy was safe she then announced the plan for the day ­ the dining chair hunt it would begin at ikea on alexandra road we reached ikea at around three o clock and browsed through the space-saving dining sets one dining table could fold four times over and become a coffee table ­ pretty neat i want to know what happened to the twenty-five-year-old businessman i muttered you will find out eventually let him recover must be one of those crazy reasons of youth ­ rejection in love low marks or drugs i stayed silent c mon he just emailed you your id is on your book cover you really don t need to get involved should we take six or eight she moved towards an oak-wood set i protested that we rarely had so many guests at home six chairs would be enough the marginal capacity utilisation of the two chairs would be less than ten per cent i said you men are least helpful she tossed back and then selected six chairs my mind strayed back to the businessman yes everyone was right i shouldn t get involved but yet of all the people in the world this boy had sent me his last words i couldn t help but get involved we ate lunch in the food court next to ikea i have to go i told my wife as i played with my lemon rice where to the office ok you are a free man now i did my shopping my wife said no i want to go to ahmedabad i want to meet govind patel i did not meet her eye maybe i was sounding crazy `are you nuts i think it is only in my generation that indian women started slamming their husbands my mind keeps going back i said what about your presentation michel will kill you

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i know he won t get promoted unless he impresses his boss my wife looked at me my face was argument enough she knew i would not talk sense until i had met the boy well there is only one direct flight at 6 p.m today you can check the tickets she dialled the singapore airlines number and handed me the phone i entered the room the nurses had led me to the eerie silence and the darkness made my footsteps sound loud ten different instruments beeped and led lights flickered at regular intervals cables from the instruments disappeared into the man i had travelled thousands of miles to see ­ govind patel i noticed the curly hair first he had a wheatish complexion and bushy eyebrows his thin lips had turned dry because of the medicines `hi chetan bhagat the writer you wrote to i said unsure if he could place me `o how did you find me he said finding it difficult to speak `destined to i guess i said i shook hands and sat down his mother came into the room she looked so sleep-deprived she could use a sleeping pill herself i greeted her as she went out to get tea i looked at the boy again i had two instant urges ­ one to ask him what happened and two to slap him `don t look at me like that he said shifting in his bed you must be angry sorry i should not have written that mail `forget the mail you should not have done what you did he sighed he took a hard look at me and then turned his gaze sideways `i have no regrets he said `shut up there is nothing heroic in this cowards pop pills `you would have done the same if you were in my place `why what happened to you `it doesn t matter we fell silent as his mother returned with tea a nurse came in and told his mother to go home but she refused to budge finally the doctor had to intervene she left at 11.30 p.m i stayed in the room promising the doctor i would leave soon `so tell me your story i said once we were alone `why what can you do about it you can t change what happened he said tiredly `you don t just listen to stories to change the past sometimes it is important to know what happened `i am a businessman to me people only do things out of self-interest what s in it for you and why should i waste my time telling you anything

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i stared at the soft-skinned face that hid such hardness inside `because i will want to tell others i said there that was my incentive and why would anyone care my story is not trendy or sexy like the iits and call centres he removed the quilt covering his chest the heater and our conversation kept the room warm `i think they will care i said a young person tried to kill himself that does not seem right `no one gives a fuck about me i tried but found it difficult to be patient i considered slapping him again `listen i said pitching my voice to the maximum allowed in a hospital you chose to send your last mail to me that means at a certain level you trusted me i located you and flew out within hours of your mail you still question if i care and now this cocky attitude this arrogance is part of your business can t you talk to me like a friend do you even know what a friend is a nurse came peeking into the room on hearing my loud voice we became quiet the clock showed midnight he sat there stunned everyone had behaved nicely with him today i stood up and turned away from him `i know what a friend is he said at last i sat down next to him `i do know what a friend is because i had two the best ones in the world

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one india vs south africa 4th odi vadodra 17 march 2000 over 45 `why the fuck did you have to move ishaan s scream drowned out the stadium din on the tv i had shifted up to a sofa from the floor `huh i said we were in ishaan s house ishaan omi and i ishaan s mom had brought in tea and khakra for us it is more comfortable to snack on the sofa that is why i moved `tendulkar s gone fuck now at this stage omi don t you dare move now nobody moves for the next five overs i looked at the tv we were chasing 283 to win india s score a ball ago was 256-2 after forty-five overs twenty-seven runs in five overs with eight wickets to spare and tendulkar on the crease a cakewalk the odds were still in india s favour but tendulkar was out and that explained the frowns on ishaan s forehead the khakra s crispy omi said ishaan glared at omi chiding him for his shallow sensory pleasure in a moment of national grief omi and i kept our tea cups aside and looked suitably mournful the crowd clapped as tendulkar made his exit jadeja came to the crease and added six more runs end of forty-six overs india 262/3 twenty-one more runs to win in four overs with seven wickets in hand over 46 he made 122 the guy did his job just a few final closing shots left why are you getting so worked up i asked during a commercial break i reached for my tea cup but ishaan signalled me to leave it alone we were not going to indulge until the fate of the match was decided ishaan was pissed with us anyway the match was in vadodra just two hours away from ahmedabad but we could not go one because we didn t have money and two because i had my correspondence exams in two days of course i had wasted the whole day watching the match on tv instead so reason number two did not really hold much weight it is 5.25 runs required per over i said not able to resist doing a mathematical calculation that is one reason i like cricket there is so much maths in it you don t know this team tendulkar goes they panic it isn t about the average it is like the queen bee is dead and the hive loses order ishaan said omi nodded as he normally does to whatever ishaan has to say about cricket anyway i hope you realise we didn t meet today to see this match we have to decide what mr ishaan is doing about his future right i said ishaan had always avoided this topic ever since he ran away from nda a year ago his dad had already sarcastically commented cut a cake today to celebrate one year of your uselessness however today i had a plan i needed to sit them down to talk about our lives of course against cricket life is second priority.

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later ishaan said staring avidly at a pimple cream commercial later when ishaan i have an idea that works for all of us we don t have a lot of choice do we all of us me too omi quizzed already excited idiots like him love to be part of something anything however this time we needed omi yes you play a critical role omi but later when ish when oh stop it look the match is starting ok over dinner let s go to gopi ish said gopi who s paying i was interrupted as the match began beep beep beep the horn of a car broke our conversation a car zoomed outside the pol what the hell i am going to teach this bastard a lesson ish said looking out the window what s up bloody son of a rich dad comes and circles around our house everyday why i said for vidya he used to be in coaching classes with her she complained about him there too ish said beep beep beep the car came near the house again damn i don t want to miss this match ish said as he saw india hit a four ish picked up his bat we ran out the house the silver esteem circled the pol and came back for another round of serenading ish stood in front of the car and asked the boy to stop the esteem halted in front of ish ish went to the driver an adolescent excuse me your headlight is hanging out really the boy said and shut off the ignition he stepped outside and came to the front ish grabbed the boy s head from behind and smashed his face into the bonnet he proceeded to strike the headlight with his bat the glass broke and the bulb hung out what s your problem the boy said blood spurting out of his nose you tell me what s up you like pressing horns ish said ish grabbed his collar and gave six non-stop slaps across his face omi picked up the bat and smashed the windscreen the glass broke into a million pieces people on the street gathered around as there is nothing quite as entertaining as a street fight the boy shivered in pain and fear what would he tell his daddy about his broken car and face ish s dad heard the commotion and came out of the house ish held the boy in an elbow lock the boy was struggling to breathe leave him ish s dad said ish gripped him tighter i said leave him ish s dad shouted what s going on here he has been troubling vidya since last week ish said he kicked the boy s face with his knee and released him the boy kneeled on the floor and sucked in air the last kick from ish had smeared the blood from his nose across his face and what do you think you are doing ish s dad asked him teaching him a lesson ish said and unhooked his bat stuck in the windscreen.

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really when will you learn your lessons ish s dad said to him ish turned away you go now ish s dad said to the beeping driver who folded his hands seeing that no one cared about his apology he trudged back to his car ish s dad turned to his neighbours for one whole year he s been sitting at home ran away from the army of his own country and then wants to teach lessons to others he and his loafer friends hanging around the house all day long one sidelong glance at his dad and ish walked back home where the hell are you going now ish s dad said match why you want to curse me some more ish said when you ve wasted your entire life what s another day ish s father said and the neighbours half-nodded their heads in sympathy we missed the final five overs of the match luckily india won and ish didn t get that upset yes yes yes ishaan jumped gopi on me tonight i love idiots actually ishaan is not an idiot at least not as much as omi it is just that both of them suck at studies especially maths and i am good at it hence i have this chip on my shoulder it does sound a bit conceited but it is the only chip on my shoulder for instance i am easily the poorest of the three though i will be the richest one day even though ishaan and omi aren t particularly wealthy ishaan s dad works in the telephone exchange and while they have lots of phones in the house the salary is modest omi s dad is the priest of the swamibhakti temple which actually belongs to omi s mom s family for generations and that does not pay well either but still they are a lot better off than me and my mom my mom runs a small gujarati snacks business and the little bit of money i make from tuitions helps us get by but that s about it we won we won the series 3-1 omi repeated what he read on the tv screen of course it would have been too much for him to express such original insight some say omi was born stupid while some say he became stupid after a cork ball hit him on the head in class vi i didn t know the reason but i did know that maybe the best idea for him would be to become a priest he wouldn t have much of a career otherwise given that he barely scraped through class xii after repeating the maths compartment exam twice but he didn t want to be a priest so my plan was the best one i ate the khakra my mother made it better than ishaan s mom we were professionals after all i ll go home to change and then we will go to gopi ok i said as ishaan and omi were still dancing dancing after an indian victory was a ritual we had started when we were eleven one that should have stopped by thirteen however here we were at twenty-one jigging like juveniles ok so we won someone had to in mathematical terms there was a pretty good probability did it really need jumping around i walked back home the narrow lanes of the old city were bustling with the evening crowd my house and ishaan s were only half a kilometre apart everything in my world fell between this distance i passed by the nana park extra packed with kids playing

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cricket as india had won the match i played here almost every day of my school life we still come here sometimes but now we prefer the abandoned bank branch compound near my home a tennis ball landed at my feet a sweaty twelve-year-old boy came running to me i picked up the ball for him nana park is where i had first met ishaan and omi over fifteen years ago there was no dramatic moment that marked the start of our friendship maybe we sized each other up as the only six-year-olds in the ground and started playing together like most neighbourhood kids we went to the belrampur municipal school hundred metres down nana park of course only i studied while ish and omi ran to the park at every opportunity three bicycles tried to overtake each other in the narrow by lane i had to step inside qazi restaurant to let them pass a scent of fried coriander and garlic filled the narrow room the cook prepared dinner a bigger feast than usual as india had won the match ishaan and i came here sometimes without telling omi of course for the cheap food and extraordinary mutton the owner assured us small mutton implying goat and not beef i believed him as he would not have survived in the neighbourhood if he served beef i wanted to eat here instead of gopi but we had promised gopi to omi and the food was fantastic there as well food is a passion here especially as gujarat is a dry state people here get drunk on food yes ahmedabad is my city it is strange but if you have had happy times in a city for a long time you consider it the best city in the world i feel the same about ahmedabad i know it is not one of those hip cities like delhi bombay or bangalore i know people in these cities think of ahmedabad as a small town though that is not really the case ahmedabad is the sixth largest city in india with a population of over five million but i guess if you have to emphasise the importance of something then it probably isn t as important in the first place i could tell you that ahmedabad has better multiplexes than delhi or nicer roads than bombay or better restaurants than bangalore but you will not believe me or even if you do you won t give a damn i know belrampur is not bandra but why should i defend being called a small-town-person as if it is a bad thing a funny thing about small towns is that people say it is the real india i guess they do acknowledge that at one level the india of the big cities is fake yes i am from the old city of amdavad and proud of it we don t have as many fashion shows and we still like our women to wear clothes i don t see anything wrong with that i stepped out of qazi and continued my way home turning in the pol towards omi s temple of course we called it omi s temple because he lived there but the official name was the swamibhakti temple as i entered the by lane two people fought over garbage disposal around the crammed pol there are things about my small town neighbourhood that i want to change in some ways it is way behind the rest of ahmedabad for one the whole old city could be a lot cleaner the new city across the other side of the sabarmati river has gleaming glass and steel buildings while the old city finds it difficult to get rubbish cleared on time i want to change another thing i want to stop the gossip theories people come up with about other people like the theory about omi becoming stupid because a cricket ball hit him there is no basis for it but every pol in belrampur talks

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about it or the theory that ish was thrown out of nda and did not run away i know for a fact that it is not true ish cannot handle unquestioned authority and even though he was really excited about the army which was his only option he could not stand some major ordering him around for the next two decades of his life so he paid the penalty cited personal reasons like ailing parents or something and ran right back to belrampur and of course what i want to stop the most the weirdest theory that i became emotionless the day dad left us dad left mom and me over ten years ago for we found out he had a second wife across town as far as i can remember i was never good with emotional stuff i love maths i love logic and those subjects have no place for emotion i think human beings waste too much time on emotions the prime example is my mother dad s departure was followed by months of crying with every lady in every pol coming down to sympathise with her she spent another year consulting astrologers as to which planet caused dad to move out and when would that position change thereafter a string of grandaunts came to live with her as she could not bring herself to stay alone it wasn t until i turned fifteen and understood how the world worked that i could coax her into opening the snacks business of course my coaxing was part of it the rest of it was that all her jewellery was officially sold by then her snacks were great but she was no businessman emotional people make terrible businessmen she would sell on credit and buy on cash the first mistake a small business can make next she would keep no accounts the home spending money was often mixed with the business money and we frequently had months where the choice was to buy either rice for our consumption or black pepper for the papads meanwhile i studied as much as i could our school was not oxford and emphasis on studies was low with more teachers bunking classes than students still i topped maths every single year people thought i was gifted when i hit a hundred in maths in class x for me it was no big deal for once the gossip vine helped the news of my score spread across pols and we had a new source of income tuitions i was the only maths tutor in belrampur and bad maths scores had reached epidemic proportions along with khaman and khakra trigonometry and algebra became sources of income in the patel household of course it was a poor neighbourhood so people could not pay much still another thousand bucks a month was a lifestyle changing event for us from fan we graduated to cooler from chairs we went to a secondhand sofa life became good i reached omi s temple the loud rhythmic chime of the bell interrupted my thoughts i checked my watch it was 6 p.m the daily aarti time i saw omi s dad from a distance his eyes closed as he chanted the mantras even though i was an agnostic there was something amazing about his face it had genuine feeling for the god he prayed to no wonder he was among the most liked people in the community omi s mother was beside him her maroon saree draped along her head and hands folded next to her was bittoo mama omi s maternal uncle he was dressed in a white dhoti and saffron scarf his huge biceps seemed even larger with his folded hands his eyes too were transfixed in genuine admiration for the idols of krishna and radha omi would get into trouble for reaching the aarti late it would not be the first time though as matches in nana park were at a crucial stage around 6 p.m.

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how was the match mom said as i reached home she stood outside the house she had just finished loading a hired auto with fresh dhokla for a marriage party finally my mother could delegate routine tasks like delivery and focus on her core competence cooking she took out a dhokla piece from the auto for me bad business snucking out something from a customer order great match nail-biting finish we won i said walking in i switched on the tubelight inside the homes in our pol required light even during daytime if i have a good diwali season i will get you a colour tv mom vowed no need i said i removed my shoes to get ready for a shower you need a bigger grinder urgently the small one is all wobbly i will buy the tv if only the business makes extra money she said no if you make extra money put it back in the business don t buy useless things i can always see the match in colour in ishaan s house she left the room my mother knew it was futile arguing with me without dad around it was amazing how much say i had in the house and i only hoped ish and omi would listen to my proposition as well my love for business began when i first started tuitions it was amazing to see money build up with money came not only things like coolers and sofas but also the most important stuff respect shopkeepers no longer avoided us relatives reinvited us to weddings and our landlord s visit did not throw us into turmoil and then there was the thrill i was making money not earning it under some boss or getting a handout i could decide my fate how many students to teach how many hours per class it was my decision there is something about gujaratis we love business and ambadadis love it more than anything else gujarat is the only state in india where people tend to respect you more if you have a business than if you are in service the rest of the country dreams about a cushy job that gives a steady salary and provides stability in ahmedabad service is for the weak that was why i dreamt my biggest dream to be a big businessman one day the only hitch was my lack of capital but i would build it slowly and make my dream come true sure ish could not make his dream of being in the indian cricket team real but that was a stupid dream to begin with to be in the top eleven of a country of a billion people was in many ways an impossible dream and even though ish was top class in belrampur he was no tendulkar my dream was more realistic i would start slow and then grow my business from a turnover of thousands to lakhs to crores and then to hundreds of crores i came out of the shower and dressed again want to eat anything my mother voiced her most quoted line from the kitchen no i am going out with ish and omi to gopi gopi why i make the same things what do you get at gopi that i can t give you at home peace and quiet i wanted to say it s ish s treat and i want to talk to them about my new business

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