p. 1

from the first day we all believed in the possibility it was possible that because of sit we would become better teachers with a few new strategies for the classroom perhaps some adjustment in our curriculum would be made whether minor or significant we would be grateful possible too that we would grow as writers and attempt forms that were new to some and had been abandoned by others maybe we had the audacity to believe a new poem would manifest or a short piece in homage to nature could give an emerging writer the confidence she might need and possible again that we might gain a friend maybe two anything is possible we mused as one mind one drone of uncertainty holding our breath for possibility we could not have foreseen that instead of walking away with one friend we would instead gain a tribe linked arm in arm a common tongue a new nation of teachers and writers united in a warrior s cry calling out for change and the boldness of our individual power to come forth neither could we have known that four weeks of inquiry introspective and communal writing impassioned teacher demos and delving into the depths of what we knew and did not know about ourselves those things buried beneath could carve out a community of not just friends but family we are at once a colony of pedagogues change agents poets performers techno-geniuses comedians bakers cooks mothers fathers nurturers nature enthusiasts scientists novelists scholars lovers of words and life from many nations we have formed one we will never forget each other we have carved the names faces and stories of our co-fellows into our memories there are no outsiders in this group there are no outside stories what follows are words we found in a place that was sometimes full sometimes empty in the form of poetry prose pieces and professional development essays what cannot fully be captured here though are our journeys of how we grew as people educators and writers one day at a time one hopeful step after the other tameka l cage-conley sit fellow 2010 1

[close]

p. 2

table of contents becky 3-13 c.j 14-16 dominic 17-28 elaine 29-38 irene 39-48 joe 49-59 justin 60-66 matt 67-71 michelle 72-77 nabilah 78-87 natalie 88-96 starsha 97-105 sue 106-112 susan 113-122 tain 123-132 tameka 133-144 wendy 145-155 zack 156-168 daily logs 170-203 2

[close]

p. 3

becky kolesar a poem the moon longs for joy a swimming pool a maple tree the night sky i have no recollection of my birth a green chalkboard with red letters on a white paint border my mother applying lipstick waiting for my father i have grown this summer i owe my growth to the amazing people of the sit i will always think of them as my people i also owe a debt of gratitude to marnie arnold she has been a mentor in every sense of the word her letter of reference has made this enlightenment possible i am also thankful to work in a district that supports and encourages the development of their teachers i must also acknowledge my original mentor mum her extraordinary spirit continues to inspire me to be more every day my dad isabella s pappy he helps me to believe i can make a difference and helps me to find the path me when i feel lost my husband who had enough faith in me to encourage me to live a bigger version of my dream my daughter the love of my life she is the twinkle in the stars and the shine in the sun of my life unless you try to do something beyond what you have already mastered you will never grow ralph waldo emerson 3

[close]

p. 4

push your fingernail deep into its thick skin use care not to pierce the fruit pull back repeat the process isabella lee olive into the mountains i am sorry please don t leave me i love you dancing with abandon unity with another soul isabella lee olive the moon aches for all the lonely children fire steel and compulsion i am a scarred daughter of a brilliant alcoholic father who was full of rage and desire to rise above the upbringing he despised with his crude steelworker father and catholic guilt-filled compulsive mother i am a hope filled daughter of 4

[close]

p. 5

a powerful phoenix mother that rose from the ashes of a fire that burned her mother to death i am a frightened little girl feeling worthless because my father reminds me each and everyday stupe rockhead bonehead that s my name i am a brave child pulling on her father s arm to stop his belt from welting the flesh of her brother i am a grateful teenager secretly cheering as her father leaves her family hungry i am an insecure college student determined to prove her worth i am a proud young woman listed in who s who and graduating with honors i am a hapless traveler empty and alone searching for redemption and grace in the arms of yet another broken soul i am a battered wife tear streaked face swollen eyes repeating the cycle i am a brave woman that left i am a single mom i am trying to rise from the ashes i am more i am hope filled joy filled 5

[close]

p. 6

possibility i am fire steel and compulsion 1 revise 2 revise 3 revise 4 revise 5 revise 6 revise 6

[close]

p. 7

7 revise 8 reviselane 1993 p 3 i began my inquiry work with the question what is revision additionally what would revision instruction look like i asked these questions because my method of teaching revision seemed to be out of sync with the lessons being taught by my colleagues i was passionate about teaching radical revision i had instructed my students that revision involves re-visiting their piece with fresh eyes and looking for the heart of the story yet i had begun to doubt my approach and wonder if i was taking this step of the writing process too seriously my students seemed to think the revision step and the editing step of the writing process could be combined they wanted to correct a few errors in spelling check their punctuation and turn in the final second copy of their piece they were resentful when i conferred with them and suggested they focus their rewriting on the wonderful story inside the rough draft do you mean i have to start all over again they had whined what do you mean i could expand on what happened when i was visiting my father at work one student asked incredulously why do we need to start on a fresh piece of paper they moaned in unison i began my inquiry in the computer lab searching educational journals for articles on the teaching of revision and then with the keyword revision my spirits sank and i became concerned about my choice of an inquiry topic because i was not able to locate recent articles about revision in a journal article entitled revision strategies of student writers and experienced writers published in 1980 by nancy summers i found some much needed consolation nancy also lamented although various aspects of the writing process have been studied exclusively of late research on revision has been notably absent sommers 1980 i was unable to locate the entire article but i was able to follow a thread on the internet teaching students to make meaningful revisions 2010 some students may not meet our expectations for revision because they understand the term very differently than we do when nancy summers a researcher at harvard asked student writers and professional authors what revision meant to them they gave her wildly divergent answers · just using better words and eliminating words that are not needed i go over and change words around cleaning up the paper and crossing out it is looking at something and saying no that has to go or no that is not right on one level finding the argument and on another level language changes to make the argument more effective a matter of looking at the kernel of what i have written the content and then thinking about it responding to it making decisions and actually restructuring · · · 7

[close]

p. 8

i was not the only one struggling with the meaning of revision it occurred to me that for many people students and other teachers alike revision is more like editing at this point i decided that i would continue to define revision as a process of rewriting to find the heart of a story and i gave myself permission to continue to challenge my students to improve their writing through this process the search for answers in educational journals was not as productive as i had hoped this discovery left me with new questions about why there was not a huge body of research around this step in the writing process maybe i would need to be more generic in my search i decided that i would use the card catalog and look for text devoted to the writing process and then narrow my search this proved fruitful i was able to locate several books that included at least a chapter about revision as i walked to the library i pondered the implications of my discovery that i was not the only person experiencing difficulty understanding the term revision i must now digress even further to say that i struggled to find the library it took me about 20 minutes to locate the usable entrance and then another 5 minutes to study the library map i hope the reader can empathize with my frustration it will be easier to understand my elation finding barry lane s book after the end teaching and learning creative revision felt like an affirmation of my teaching philosophy in the introduction lane describes the origins of his book i began writing it when i found that students even in schools where writing process had been taught for ten years wrote the end in big letters at the end of a draft and rarely revised their work even teachers in these schools viewed revision as simply making a sloppy copy pictureperfect instead of as a means for discovery lane 1993 p 2 it is difficult for me to explain the vindication i felt i had already read the author blurb and i knew that barry lane was a respected writer and esteemed teacher of writing his publisher heinemann was an established publisher of educational texts i sat down on the floor between the stacks to peruse the text i hope the reader will understand what i am about to reveal and will not think less of me as a professional i began to fall in love with barry lane right there in the stacks of hillman library it seemed as though barry lane understood my challenges and had designed lessons to meet each one my professional soul mate had arrived i returned to class reading and walking i was so deeply engrossed in lane s words that i did not hear my friend zack speak to me he repeated himself is that a barry lane book i blinked you know barry lane oh yeah that guy is crazy he came to my school and led a workshop he is nuts in a good 8

[close]

p. 9

way he is very passionate about teaching writing i was filled with envy zack had met my guy zack mentioned something about his videos on youtube i couldn t wait to get online it turns out that barry lane has 144 videos on youtube including an ode sung to his fourth grade teacher my admiration grows a few things i discovered about revision form barry lane 1 growing leads lane talks about using questions to develop the heart of the story i decide to add this valuable tool to my demo lesson the requests i have made for more detail in subsequent drafts of my students work will benefit from this mini-lesson 2 snapshots i use the idea of having students use words to create a picture that can be inserted into their piece 3 lane jokes about changing the 7 step writing process to 1-7 revise but he lists great questions to help students decide that a piece is truly finished i will use this list in my classroom on my trip to the library i also found a copy of lucy mccormick calkins book the art of teaching writing calkins 1986 although my love affair with barry lane will continue lucy calkins also holds a special place in my heart i own a copy of the newly published writing workshop series also published by heinemann so new i had not had the chance to open it and i was certain i would find explicit instruction on the revision process but i was enchanted by the first edition of calkins s magnum opus based on her initial research and contact with giants in the education field such as nancy atwell and howard gardner calkins discusses the need to have a consistent program in place she cautions teachers to do one or two things often rather than attempting to do a little of everything i begin to think about the consistency of my revision process i have been tempted to try something new each time i have now adapted my thoughts i will develop a revision plan that can be tweaked but is rooted in repetition i immediately begin to define the structure of my lesson the a.r.m.s strategy is a good one i will vary the mini lessons with the different genres i teach but i will keep the format the same i find more answers to my inquiry in calkins writing as she describes the need to model revision for students calkins feels that teachers need to break away from the skipping a line idea for revision she believes this practice will limit the idea of revision to small changes calkins work explores the development of the revision process of young writers she describes young students making corrections to their writing as their initial idea of revision citing the work of donald murray she explains that revision for a skilled writer can be likened to a taffy pull calkins 1986 p 87 this will affect my practice because now i know i must model revision as a taffy pull i immediately envision myself using silly putting to create the 9

[close]

p. 10

connection for my students lucy s work sent me to the world wide web again i was interested in the work of donald murray he must have published his findings about revision in fact he had donald murray a pulitzer prize winning author had published a book entitled the craft of revision he revised it 5 times i am looking forward to reading it i am awaiting its arrival from amazon my inquiry into the best practice continues i have also purchased several books by ralph fletcher after finding his suggestions for revision online i have opened the box set of calkins s books and i look forward to immersing myself in her words my inquiry has also strengthened my passion for revision as a very important step in the process it has shed a new light on my thinking i will now introduce the step as a opportunity for a do-over a chance to make writing more interesting but more importantly more meaningful a quote from murray that has given me the permission to continue my mission the only way to write well is write often then revise revise revise what is in your name i am sitting here sweating and listening to my heart thumping trying to find a gracious way to leave this classroom for a hiding place perhaps in the bathroom stall the instructor chooses 10

[close]

p. 11

another fellow to go to the front of the room and list all of the names they have been known by and then share the story of their name she has skipped me for a few moments i believe i have been released from the tenterhooks holding me taut the panic anxiety and shame subside this is the second day of our class the first day at the request of our directors i composed a poem about my dysfunctional childhood i was so ashamed of its dark and horrifying tone that i did not share instead i sat crying while others bared their souls becky boodles is the name my mother s father calls me he always says it with affection though he is not always an affectionate man i call him gigi gig e is how i say it he is handsome like dean martin imposing and charismatic like john wayne i know this because i have watched movies starring these men at his house while he slept one off sitting on a slipcovered couch in his paneled basement i was able to make the comparison and had felt a certain satisfaction in the knowledge that my gigi could have been in the movies my stepgrandmother ooos and ahhhs at these men enough for me to know i have the right idea she likes straub beer because it is brewed near her hometown of renovo pa i jump up to get her a cold one during the commercial breaks i have just run to hide in the corner of our porch o lanmore avenue my breathing is hard and i am shaking i hear his sing song voice as he comes up the wide cement steps i know he is fresh from the bar full of remorse and liquid courage i witnessed this before becky boodles he coos we miss you it has been months this time the letters i have written in my best cursive listing my recent academic successes begging him to come back have already yellowed in the drawer of my mother s cherry secretary we live a new a new house and bunnies play all over our backyard i know you love bunnies his voice taunts me today he is dressed for the country club a suit and a trench coat his shoes are freshly polished and reflect the summer sunshine i have heard him say it a million times charles a kellington is my name he said it as if being a drunken house painter in pittsburgh was akin to being a member of the royal family for some unknown reason he always feels compelled to yell his name he had done this in the horne s department store when times were good and he took us there adding buy her whatever she wants god damn it she s my granddaughter as we silently shopped the racks i knew i should have been embarrassed by this absurd display of bravado yet i had stood a little taller and felt very special being claimed by him he breaks into a real song now our song the song of lovers separated after the man has said the kind of things that make women leave hey if you happen to see the most beautiful girl in the world slurring and swaying he continues tell i love her tell her i m sorry no one but me knows he is here i have been keeping a vigil it was only a matter of time until 11

[close]

p. 12

he sobered up and realized that calling my brothers faggots and panty wastes had been wrong i just knew he would drive his white paneled station wagon to our house and make peace with my mom i had prayed it would have been sooner i really wanted to go to the golden spike for steaks medium rare or mama lucia s for spaghetti with marinara sauce please and a shirley temple he is so close to me i can smell him manly i decide whiskey and aftershave i struggle for the courage to resist his charms he reaches to remove his fedora as he squats next to me becky boodles he says with the appropriate remorse becky boodles he whispers full of contrition and regret the blood in my thumps in my ears my little body trembles i extend my tiny arms reaching out my reprieve is over my confidence evaporates i am shaking as i move to the front of the room i glance at the other fellows make a joke about my marker choice and turn to the butcher paper taped to the chalkboard rebecca helen elizabeth stewart olive kolesar using my best printing i write all of my names names given names taken names full of pain regret and hope i begin to share my story my father wanted to call me renada after his german girlfriend a few laughs surface i attempt a chuckle i reach deeper for the courage to continue i was remarried three years ago my husband supported my name choice i chose to use his name i am now rebecca helen kolesar i add as i cross out my father s name and my daughter s father s name to conclude my name story tameka raises her hand that was the story of becoming a woman she says with compassion i nod my thank you the thumping in my ears subsides i return to my seat prom queen an autumn afternoon a glorious day spent together 12

[close]

p. 13

the first in ten years i desperately needed to use the bathroom a refusal to allow me inside yellow prom gown worn red pumps stacks of pornography resurrected the stinging slaps and cruel indifference lipstick nail polish silk stockings now as an invited guest locked inside the bathroom bile rising in my throat lace panties drying i promise myself there is a female lover it s all mine he says his polished nail pointing at the items around the room pink sapphire dinner ring sparkling in the sunlight mocking me his daughter 13

[close]

p. 14

i am my mother s child cj coleman 2010 sit co-director 14

[close]

p. 15

time it s about time having losing finding wanting sometimes needing knowing leaving making list to help find the boxes to check off lives that can t stop long enough with enough in enough time 15

[close]