the blues game by tyla hurry up mum lets go,we re going to be late for friday night blues game as my little baby sister and my 6 year old sister and i,jolted into our car we saw my annoying brother drive pass with brittane s family i wanted to leave now because some of the all blacks were going to be there as my dad sat in the driver set he started the car and we zoomed off behind them the traffic was so crazy we could not find a car park .we were searching everywhere driving around and around the stadium looking for a park but suddenly behind a huge 4 wheel drive there was a parking we zoomed in to the park before anyone else could as soon as we had stopped and parked the car,dot,brittane s mum reversed in behind us and made her own park my family and i leaped out of our gold van and boston,addon,naku,dot and brittane s step dad aaron bolted out of their grey a wheel drive we started to walked up the long grey footpath to tall stadium tickets please said the security guard.as we treaded through the terrible thick crowd.me and my family went to sit on the hard blue seats on the left side of the field while dot and her family and my brother went up to
the v.i.p lounge.i was so jealous,i wanted to go u and get free drinks and yummy food later ten just before the game started we got hot chips,hot dog and a drink for the blues vs hurricanes game.we were about to sit down when we saw addon,naku and boston standing on their flash seats waving at a mum look thats where they are sitting up there oh yeah i can see them the game had started the blues and hurricanes teams,were running jumping tackling all over the field.oh my god i saw keven mealamu handing out his signature,so i leaped out of my chair,sprinted down the stairs,dodged all the people and pushed in keven keven can i get your signatures please sure i could not believe my eyes i was actually getting a real all blacks signature i was so happy with excitement.as soon as the blues got there first try they kept getting tries one after another the hurricanes got a couple of tries for the first half but we were still winning when it got up to half time addon,naku and boston come back down out of the v.i.p room,so i could go up and use one of there tickets.i walked up alone set of stair,through the loud crowd,through the lounge up another set of long stairs and down a long,noisy,flash yummy room and when i saw dot sitting down by herself.so i climb over the stairs and sat down beside her.we watched the game in our
v.i.p seats that i have never been in before!i thought that was so cool i got a free drink from in the fridge.when we were watching the game in the second half it was very interesting because,one of the guys from the blues team sprinted his heart out to catch the guy from the hurricanes team with the rugby ball,when he was near him he jumped and through him to the ground.he graded the hard ball and off leaped towards his try line,dodging and passing the ball as he went.i was eating my donuts and candyfloss when a lady shouted over the loud speaker,that anyone that wants to go on the rugby field at the end of the game so we could meet the rugby players and get photos plus some signatures.some of the all blacks were going to be there like piri weepu,cory jane,jerome kaino,keven mealamu,anthony boric and ali williams it was like a dream come true.so when the game had ended i knew that we had won but i could not remember the score.i fast walked down the stairs through all the people that were going to the field.when my feet hit the padded grass i started my search.me and boston stack together because we did not want to get lost.first we started to look for jerome kaino we could not find him anywhere,we had to ask people do you know were jerome kaino is,do you know were jerome kaino is but there was no replied.until there he was standing there with a crowd around him jerome kaino,can we have your signature please and photo sure we haned him our
note pads and snuggled up next to him for a photo.we were running like crazy looking for them.like cory jane,athony boric,rene ranger and players that i didnt even know.as we were pushing and pulling we finally got to piri weepu,i was i cant believe that i was standing next to him.we got his photo and his signature i thought we had done it for the day,when suddenly where is tanika oh my gosh,we could not see her anywhere,she was lost.we were looking everywhere around the whole stadium.i could not understand why it had to happen today.suddenly as my dad was walking by he turned to his right and found her in the lost tent,eating chocolate cake and drinking a can of coke.he sprinted and got her so we could go home as we were walking out of the gate we were all happy with excitement that we had gone to the blues game.we walked down the hill,along the grey wide path to our van and zoomed off home.i was so amazed that we had won the game and got photos with some of the all blacks.few what a awesome day it was i thought to myself by tyla simona i was at this game too tyla i saw your brother it was a good game and the way you have written this recounts
shows how much you enjoyed it too your paragraphs are good but far too many editing errors you need to read this several times to make sure they are all fixed you need to watch that you have spaces between full stops and the next word.