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a special edition spring 2012 brother james kelly c.f.x 1947-2011

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themount the mount is published quarterly by the mount saint joseph development office dear alumni and friends of the mount in a beautiful poem that calls to mind the annunciation of the blessed mother the poet marie howe writes even if i don t see it again ­ nor ever feel it i know it is ­ and that if once it hailed me it ever does ­ and so it is myself i want to turn in that direction not as towards a place but it was a tilting within myself as one turns a mirror to flash the light to where it isn t ­ i was blinded like that ­ and swam in what shone at me only able to endure it by being no one and so specifically myself i thought i d die from being loved like that my friend jim kelly our own brother james kelly c.f.x was blinded by that same light that called mary to serve our god and he did so unswervingly in his nearly fifty years as a xaverian brother our mount was lucky to call him our president these last eleven years and there have been times these last few months when i recall our own good fortune at being loved like that he and i met in college and even then he was that incredible blend of the direct irish caring never forgetful interrupting almost always correct and painfully catholic man who kept coming at me in various roles and periods in our lives luckily ending together at saint joe we both taught languages his classical mine foreign and we were able to substitute for each other in latin class here at the mount he answered his call from god in ways he learned from the brothers who were his colleagues at his first mission saint john s high school in shrewsbury ma he was filled with stories of his mentor brother ivan who guided jim both in and out of the classroom beginning the lifelong formation of this teacher he would always introduce himself or refer to himself as teacher knowing that in that title was all the recognition he ever sought he would always tell me when we were discussing our respective roles that our jobs were their own rewards how right he was from his unswerving loyalty to his charges i was led to understand some of our most troublesome kids in a different way because of his devotion to the xaverian brothers i can see the mount s history in a whole new light knowing how much we owe the brothers and knowing the responsibility we carry in treasuring their legacy his personal leadership style left no doubt that he had little time for those who would surround their own administrative styles with trappings that had nothing to do with the job at hand while an intensely loyal and faithful catholic he had little tolerance for those who wielded their religion as a weapon or a crutch as opposed to using it as a solid basis for conscience formation and sound decision-making in these pages you will read reminiscences from friends colleagues and students from the schools where he ministered including xavier high school in middletown ct and his beloved saint xavier in louisville ky they speak of the life of a teacher who knew the young men in his care and knew what was best for them they speak of the life of a religious who took seriously the call to turn to christ as a consistent life pattern they speak of men and women who would admit freely that they have never been loved like that my relationship began with him dressing me down in college for mooching food and drink off of his classmates it came to an all too early end with me holding his hand at his bedside tracing the names of three friends i wanted him to take care of for me in heaven when he went home to god last december 3rd the in-between we enjoyed was all based on the relationship god blessed us with for over forty years he and i were often blinded by the light of god s grace only to swim towards that light as the poet implies mary did in the hope of finding ourselves and of helping others to discover who they were i honestly have never been loved like that sincerely barry j fitzpatrick principal emily wilson rollins executive director of development james poisal 03 director of alumni relations jess jankoviak director of communications and events editor the mount erin van bavel director of annual giving cathy steffe development office manager brandy darcey development office assistant alumni association board of directors charles gilbert 70 president kevin connelly 84 vice president matthew garbark 03 secretary matthew hall 03 treasurer jack pundt iii 71 past president ed audy 71 joe cremen 95 john denhardt 82 mike dooley 66 ryan greer 98 pat hall 74 paul harris 66 william j lenczycki 62 john mckenna jr 73 greg morgan 80 jack pundt iv 97 craig radoci 03 eric schneider 71 craig sigismondi 81 mike von paris 70 barry j fitzpatrick principal 2 spring 2012

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ingredients you will need along the way as you raise a teenaged son brother james kelly c.f.x an ability to speak to him respectfully even when he isn t being respectful insight to help him see that sometimes his failures are more important than his successes courage to bring him back into line when he is out of line to stick to your guns when you know that what he wants is not what he needs knowledge that like and love are not the same thing time and attention even when he seems to be telling you that he doesn t want your time or attention patience with his fumbling attempts at becoming a man and his at times impulsive words and actions forgiveness for the times he hurts you when he isn t even aware that he has understanding that he really does love you even when he hurts you realization that boys grow much more quickly physically than they do emotionally and spiritually vigilance so that you can anticipate problems before they become too serious a heart that hears all that isn t said love that is unconditional but knows when to be tough ta bleofcontents message from principal barry fitzpatrick 2 a full life 5 xavier high school 8 st john s high school 9 family 12 saint xavier high school 14 wisdom that knows when it is best to let him make his own mistakes and when it is best not to humility that understands your limitations as a parent but also understands the power of god s grace that is willing to apologize to him when you re wrong willingness to let him go when he is ready to fly on his own respect for the man that he is in the process of becoming even as you support the boy he still is mount saint joseph high school 19 the boys 26 saint x 28-29 msj 30-32 colin novick godson 33 xaverian brothers 35 as you stir all of these ingredients together always remember saint benedict s advice to his monks and listen with the ear of your heart hopewell cancer support 38 eulogies and remarks 39 special edition of the mount 3

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4 spring 2012

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brother james kelly c.f.x june 30 1947 ­ james michael kelly was born in worcester ma to joseph patrick kelly and dorothy vigneault kelly in 1947 james and his older sister patricia grew up on the grounds of cushing hospital in framingham where joseph served as the hospital s administrator mr kelly encouraged lively dinner discussions and was known to say if a book isn t worth reading twice it isn t worth reading once young james inherited his love for both reading and winston churchill from his father 1962 ­ in reminiscing about his freshman year at marian high school in framingham ma brother james never glossed over his initial academic laziness or his immaturity however under the guidance of sister anna catherine he learned to relish the academic challenges given to him his sister recalls from that point forward jim excelled academically and developed a lifelong love and appreciation for the sisters of saint joseph this appreciation led brother james to eventually accept a board of trustees position at marian high school 1964 ­ when james was 17 he felt the call to a vocation after visits with the xaverian brother director of vocations brother emil dionne and st john s high school headmaster brother joseph gerard teehan james was fully convinced the xaverian brothers was where he belonged his parents on the other hand were a bit harder to convince however they signed the papers that allowed james to follow his call later in life john kelly told james your mother and i thought you were foolish to join the xaverian brothers we were wrong you rightly chose what would make you happy july 8 1965 ­ james entered the congregation of the brothers of saint francis xavier one month after his high school graduation 1964 your mother and i thought you were foolish to join the xaverian brothers we were wrong you rightly chose what would make you happy ­ joseph patrick kelly special edition of the mount 5

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july 8 1965 cont ­ he enters and completes his two years of novitiate development and continues to graduate phi beta kappa and magna cum laude from catholic university with degrees in latin and greek september 8 1967 ­ brother professes his temporary vows as a xaverian brother 1971 1974 ­ brother james promptly entered the workforce and began teaching english latin and religion at st john s high school while at st john s brother kelly 1974 ­ brother left st john s to teach received guidance from at xavier high school in middletown brother ivan corkery ct he began each monday morning and brother philip neri with a prayer and inspirational pep who helped him develop his teaching talk lovingly dubbed the monday style ­ demanding academic discipline morning ferverino while also demanding as time went by a 1971-1974 no less than the best shortened version effort from students while at st john s brother of the ferverino although his time at kelly received guidance appeared in the parst john s only lasted from brother ivan corkery ent newsletter these three years it was and brother philip neri who shortened versions there that he formed helped him develop his made up much of a relationship that teaching style ­ demanding brother s first book would last a lifetime academic discipline while also respecting the man brother james condemanding no less than the the boy will become nected with another best effort from his students young teacher f june 7 1975 ­ 1974 michael novick and brother professes he began each monday with a the two bonded over his perpetual vows prayer and inspirational pep their love of teaching this length of time talk lovingly dubbed the literature and intelbetween initial monday morning ferverino lectual discourse profession and final shortened versions of the brother eventually profession is three to pep talk made up much of became godfather to six years but brother brother s first book michael s son colin took longer since he and took an active was so dedicated to role in his life as well as that his teaching and administrative work of colin s wife tracy and their three michael novick of saint john s is daughters known to say that brother james is the oldest xaverian brother to ever take final vows 1977 ­ brother receives a master s degree in liberal studies from wesleyan university 1980 ­ brother james begins to serve as the principal author of the xaverian menology a book of biographies of deceased members of the xaverian brothers he continues this until his death 1982 ­ brother becomes the headmaster of xavier high school he also receives a master of arts in counseling from st joseph s college 6 spring 2012

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1991 ­ brother leaves xavier high school to serve as the director of development for the xaverian brothers in baltimore 1993 ­ brother returns to academia as the president of saint xavier high school saint x in louisville ky 2001 ­ after a plea from mount saint joseph principal barry fitzpatrick brother leaves saint x for mount saint joseph high school in baltimore 2010 ­ brother publishes his second book building men who matter february 2011 ­ saint xavier high school awards brother with the saint francis xavier award the award recognizes and celebrates extraordinary contributions to the legacy and vitality of the school november 20 2011 ­ brother james receives the pro ecclesia et pontifice medal by the then-archbishop o brien at the cathedral of mary our queen in baltimore the medal is the highest honor awarded by the pope to the laity and non-clerical religious also known as the cross of honor it is given in recognition for distinguished service to the church o brien said of brother he s been the epitome of a religious who has set the mark in his vocation in forming young people in character virtue and faith december 1 2011 ­ brother james renews his vows with other xaverian brothers at mount saint joseph s saint francis xavier mass additionally he is named as one of the school s ryken award winners brother is physically unable to be at mass but participates through skype brother lawrence harvey c.f.x accepts the ryken award on his behalf november 20 2011 he s been the epitome of a religious who has set the mark in his vocation in forming young people in character virtue and faith ­ then archbishop edwin o brien december 3 2011 ­ brother enters into eternal life at sunrise surrounded by friends and family on the feast of saint francis xavier december 11 2011 ­ after his body is waked at mount saint joseph a funeral mass is held at the cathedral of mary our queen the cathedral fills to capacity and overflows to the side aisles often three-people deep many past students parents and co-workers remember a man who means so much to them special edition of the mount 7

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x avier when at xavier in ct brother james served as dean of students discipline where he was known to be very strict but very fair one spring during his first year as dean of students he got wind of a senior skip day to be held at hammonsett state park in madison ct he came to the faculty room and rounded up six faculty members and told them that they were going on a bus ride he had called the bus company and secured five or six buses to go to the beach he was on the first bus he and his faculty members arrived at the beach on this beautiful spring day and he promptly proceeded to order the seniors to get on the buses leaving the senior girls from mercy at the beach along with the boys cars etc all came back to the school where they were given jug detention and had to call their parents to secure rides home and figure out how they were to get their cars at the beach the following years while he was dean of students he would remind seniors what would happen if they dared to have a senior skip day needless to say he only had to take on senior skip day once as the students knew that he was serious about showing up at the beach and rounding them up for a trip back to school ­ brother jim connolly c.f.x 8 spring 2012

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s t john s st john s members of the class of 1975 at brother kelly s final profession of vows june 7 1975 clockwise from brother james donald tremblay robert shea jack o keefe jimmy coggins rip brian buckley paul cataldo robert gardner st john s freshman english 1973 special edition of the mount 9

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s t john s brother jim kelly walked a difficult path over the last ten years but he walked it with consistent grace faith and irrepressible energy my family had the great privilege of sharing many years with him two vignettes in the last few years capture the highs and lows of brother jim s life journey one night as we began our meal at one of jim s favorite local worcester restaurants jim s cell phone began beeping as he looked at the number of the incoming call he said this can t be good news as jim took the call i imagined that barry fitzpatrick had called reporting some major misbehavior among jim s beloved mount students the conversation went on and my wife and i looked at each other concerned and puzzled finally after agreeing to meet with the caller the next day jim hung up and returned to his cocktail that was dr sharfman my oncologist he says that my cancer is back and very active i have to see him tomorrow to start a new round of chemo that took the wind out of our sails as we struggled for something to say in the face of this horrible news jim said i m glad i was here with you when i got that call it helps to be with your friends when you get that kind of news here we were trying to find some way to reassure jim and he was busy assuring us that he wanted to go on with the evening as originally planned although we never got back to the mood before the call jim made sure that we all had a good time it was as if brother was making the most of every moment that he had while realizing that we might not have that many more such times in the future in april of this past year we made plans to get together in baltimore after weeks of telephone calls to keep abreast of the cancer s progress suddenly the day before we flew into bwi we got the news that the psa test revealed that the cancer values had plummeted brother jim was close to cancer free the test stated brother jim met us in our hotel parking lot we embraced and i had tears in my eyes this time they were tears of joy at the apparent miracle of the cancer s defeat energized by the news jim took us everywhere making the rounds of his favorite haunts in metro baltimore my wife and i had to insist that jim head home to rest at midday as he could barely contain his desire to treat us here was a man battling with very serious cancer and his main concern was to get as much as possible into each day he mirrored that activity pattern when our son jim s famous godson visited baltimore with his family there were pictures of brother jim with his grand god daughters as he called them at the aquarium in the inner harbor jim looked delighted and he was one of brother jim s gifts especially apparent in the past few years was a remarkable zest for life and a desire to cram as much life into each moment that he had although our baltimore visit occurred at a high point in his struggle it soon became apparent that the cancer was still lying in wait for jim even at the last though as soon as a familiar face appeared jim would rally to such an extent that finally the irish mafia had to restrict visitors enabling jim to focus on going home to god he was even in death irrepressible knowing jim for over forty years was an incredible gift to me and to my family when i chose jim as my son s godfather i hoped that it would build a relationship that would endure despite the vagaries of our work lives and jim s peripatetic wanderings in the end we got so much more than that jim kelly was truly a member of our family and my brother i miss him but i carry him with me love is like that ­ michael novick 10 spring 2012

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s t john s a good friend and mentor of mine bro jim kelly c.f.x is dying of cancer in most instances i would not speak so bluntly especially about a friend however bro jim is known for his directness for his reluctance to mince words and in this case i will imitate my mentor throughout these past nine months i have prayed for and thought about bro jim constantly my life has been blessed with wonderful mentors as a result of my experience of xaverian education bro tom ryan served as a mentor to me during my days as a high school student and throughout my time in college and young adult life bro dan skala and bro jim kelly have served as mentors to me during my middle years while xaverian education provides one of the finest academic experiences one of its greatest values comes from the mentors we meet along the way through them we learn that xaverian education is about much more than curriculum our xaverian mentors taught us about life as bro jim nears the end of his mortal life he teaches us much about xaverian values and about life bro james as he is often called has become one of the modern giants of xaverian education many of you have read and quoted from his two books respecting the man the boy will become a parent s guide to loving teaching and raising teenaged sons and his recent book building men who matter on the marvel and mystery of raising teenage boys his insights into teaching and parenting adolescent boys are now legendary together they serve as great solace to many a new teacher and to the first-time parent of a male adolescent bro james loves being a xaverian brother he is proud to wear the habit my sj classmates and i would say he is a true brother s brother his knowledge of xaverian history coupled with his irish charm and wit has made him the storyteller who serves as the institutional memory of xaverian education bro jim in his facing his illness also serves as the inspiration to all those involved in xaverian education teaching us to march on even when faced with challenges through men like bro jim we are reminded that our loving god will not abandon us especially in our hour of need bro jim kelly s stories also teach us much about those xaverian values that transcend the curriculum i struggle to put into words what bro jim means to me to saint john s and to the entire xaverian congregation bro jim has led three of our xaverian schools and he has served as mentor to many a young headmaster with firm resolve he has taught all to tend to the right fires as important as advanced placement scores college acceptances state championships and so on are to the life of a school nothing is more important at a catholic and xaverian school than guiding boys into manhood helping them become men of faith and men of service bro jim is one of the saints whom god has sent into my life bro jim and others like him continue to tend the fire of xaverian education today a xaverian education is much more than an education of the mind it is an education of the whole boy ­ respecting the man the boy will become how blessed we are to be part of such a wonderful mission ­ excerpt from october-november parent newsletter by michael welch headmaster saint john s high school special edition of the mount 11

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f amilya photo from the kelly family collection includes joseph kelly brother s father in the center and a young brother james on the right brother james and his sister patricia 12 spring 2012

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special edition of the mount 13

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s aintxavier on lessons learned perry e sangalli current president saint xavier high school assistant principal for studies at mount saint joseph 1992-1993 having known brother james kelly since 1986 and serving as principal of saint xavier high school during his tenure as the school s first president i have lived many of the experiences that bro james shared in his newsletters perhaps only barry fitzpatrick would have shared more of those stories as he outlasted me by 2.5 years as brother s next principal thus it seems fitting that i shall share memories in a format familiar to his students and readers what did i experience what have i learned how did his stories antics irish guilt interactions with students and philosophies about education and life form and influence my practices today perhaps you will see or find yourself in this collection of lessons learned on teaching and advice to new practitioners the kelly list of what to do and what not to do was endless and impossible for many very fine teachers to master most important lessons know your stuff prepare well demand more than students think they can do and love your students on communication you can never communicate too much let me never be surprised on british literature and winston churchill why would anyone study any other historical figures or works except calculus willa cather and john steinbeck on going to every possible school event the parents and the boys have to know we re paying attention no one does it this way anymore on supervision by wandering and asking questions/delivering messages in person that s how you know what s really happening in your school no one does it that way anymore on being irish the next crash or failure is looming and your next sin is magnetically attached to your thinking before you have the thought i happily am very italian and a bit german but not nearly as good a storyteller on school enrollment there s always room for one more indeed on reserve funds and debt using funds from the board s reserves even for the intended purposes of the fund is to be avoided debt is even worse see irish influence of next potential crash i must say the saint xavier board still hears the kelly voice every time it considers using the reserves or taking on debt on school finances make sure you sign all of the checks purchase orders are required good thing always know where the money is check to make sure the numbers really add up you have to collect the tuition thanks earl jerry al rick rich larry tony and chris for making sure that jim s and my numbers added up on cooking do you want to come over for dinner i only know how to cook for 17 on the louvre in paris i ll see you outside in an hour i hadn t made it to the mona lisa yet on apologies the kelly wrath was fierce but the kelly apology made everything right always admit when you are wrong walking immediately to the person who was wronged even when he is teaching another class or she is counseling with the door closed on raising teenage boys always know where he will be and with whom and make clear when he is to be home boys will balk but they need to know the boundaries see my community x newsletter for the last 11 years indeed james kelly cfx is one of the giants who have gone before us in xaverian education ­ one whose life commitment love for all things xaverian and love for his old boys old principals will forever remind us of our own call to be teacher and friend 14 spring 2012

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s aintxavier brother was a very special man the one memory that sticks out was one of the first snows we had after he came here in louisville we have little snow more icy roads brother would laugh at how poorly we louisvillians drove and the people from the northeast knew how to handle driving in the snow as fate would have it one morning on the way to school he skidded into a snow bank and had to call school for help the maintenance crew went out and pulled him out he never lived that one down ­ doris dolle former secretary of brother james fore de goes be phe of ge that pri nt catastro iblical ada g the rece rin asting n old b llision du error of bo there is a efore the co fortunate in un goes b w to drive made the case pride d knew ho ouisville i is boast backgroun s here in l d g th the snow ew englan fter makin y wintry n t shortly a snowat i with m numental ians did no th uisvill of a mo at most lo my ennd on top a snow and th ville road i flew into and taylors ided with our ridge lane ot only coll ht of rush h in e heig recken 7 am at th t precorner of b sa at bank at the k occurred geo prism ine snowban e my little lane of the r louisvill nter with th cou rning yly ove w in the tu n rose gra ching o u su ound of sn and as the heels was to of a dirty m ng f my car s w d the settli usly on top only one o cario ttled ision an ster er the car se en the coll si e aft cond betw as that my tersection the split se thought w f und and in a month o k my only ithin owban the gro ther died w p of the sn nd fa co on to if i and my illed my se of the car be furious ing to be k was not go it because lly going to b i was rea alized that least a little r once i re injured at at st x dent body one anothe i had been and stu wished d met his the faculty was that i a m thought nd driver h at grief fro rrect new engla to take gre ow-skilled was going t proved co i ough this sn y second th heard that ably unrk .m when they snowbank y car rema louisville e and r pushed m ucket of ic atch with a the wrecke m d and find a b faculty at st x to olice arrive e after the p k i arrived lunch in th e snowban had unded and aged off th i ve never ments abo dam r com forget turn t i ll never desk cleve a y uld humility th snow on m d that i wo d i decide s a lesson in dy g room wa istakes an student bo dinin g my m for the bed y admittin xperience e cult escri a learning much diffi school i d .i erience into at to the ireside ch arning exp ad learned my le ity i h ing f n in humil nday morn the o mo nd the less goes before during my the snow a age pride about unter with eep the ad of humor ody k my enco e student b eep a sense k that th s mistakes lso learn to suggested president that they a from their mind and arn fall in they can le s perhaps themselve e man g the boy th respectin om c.f.x mes kelly ­ excerpt fr y brother ja e b will becom y al humilit institution anks and in my on snowb the fall or special edition of the mount 15

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