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k passion live your scott d trudo

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iii dedication a this book is dedicated to my best friend life partner and wife cathy who has provided me with never-ending support while teaching me the true meaning of love and unconditional acceptance and to my parents chris and vern trudo who have always believed in me and taught me that happiness in life comes in large part from helping those less fortunate than ourselves and finally to my two amazing kids andy and hanna who make me proud each day through their demonstration of hard work and dedication to causes they believe in and their keen sensitivity to the needs of others copyright © 2010 scott d trudo all rights reserved isbn 145055556x isbn-13 9781450555562

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v table of contents a acknowledgements forward by paul boynton chapter 1 introduction passion is elusive my story life was good something changed life wasn t good anymore life got better lots better life is good really good again how to get the most from this book chapter 2 process overview happiness ­ a wonderful byproduct anatomy of the process chapter 3 discovering the authentic you the principle of insight getting to know you why be authentic the road to happiness your finest hour ix xiii 1 9 15

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vi vii exercises 1.1 identifying your strengths and aptitudes 1.2 clarifying your values and beliefs 1.3 creating your mission statement chapter 4 exploring life s options the principle of choice life is choice career passion passion beyond career exploring hobbies exploring volunteering change is strange exercises 1.1 what would you do if 1.2 choosing your best option 1.3 understanding your motivation chapter 5 planning your journey the principle of action moving from thought to action creating your roadmap milestones along the way am i getting there yet planning ahead scheduling ­ the final step exercises 1.1 creating long-term goals 1.2 identifying milestones 1.3 identifying needed resources 31 1.4 building a network of people who can help you 1.5 creating your daily/weekly schedule of actions chapter 6 it s a wonderful life life hasn t changed you have living in alignment ­ as a holistic being be the solution ­ give back chapter 7 real people living their passion weldon long melanie renfrew hebert dambar kadariya susan donnelley pamela gail johnson elaine hamel debra ruh dave soucy john rougeau barb black vern trudo chapter 8 final thoughts what would my life feel like if resources 63 69 51 105 live your passion table of contents

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ix acknowledgements a many people have influenced my attitudes and beliefs throughout my life i would like to acknowledge several who played a particular role in shaping the perspective i bring to this book early in my career i sold life insurance for the connecticut mutual life insurance company i worked for dick gianquitto a general agent in bedford nh dick taught me many things about success and about life he taught me the importance of goal setting staying motivated and committing to excellence he helped me develop a strong belief that each of us is in complete control of our destiny and that whatever we desire in life is within our reach many of us have read some of the chicken soup for the soul series of books long before he was a well-known author mark victor hanson travelled around the country as a motivational speaker at that time i was an impressionable young salesman and had the opportunity to hear mark speak at a sales conference i attended his authentic style and his 13 principals of prosperity made a lasting impression on me i was so moved by his message that a few years later i called his newport beach ca office to thank him at the time mark was delivering 250 speeches a year and i was astounded that he actually answered

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x xi the phone i was equally astounded when mark asked me to be his guest at an event in nh later that week it was the first time he had been back to nh in over three years mark taught me that by controlling our thoughts we literally control our successes in life life really is a doit-to-yourself proposition in the mid-1980s i was in sales working for digital equipment corporation a computer manufacturer one of my closest friends and colleague was nick toumpas someone i tried hard to emulate nick was a polished smart wellspoken man who defined the term professional he used to refer to me as a diamond in the rough which meant he thought i had potential nick took me under his wing and taught me the skills of being a large account manager in the computer industry and about big-picture strategic thinking he was a visionary long before i knew what that term meant nick was also a role model to me in terms of living a balanced life he always put equal importance on his family his health his community and his career when i ventured out of the corporate world and started a sales training company in the early 1990s i had a business partner named marty schmidt he was a brilliant man with a gift for teaching complex finance and accounting to non-financial managers and salespeople marty taught me about the importance of persistence and tenacity as we worked hard to develop our new business he also taught me how you can make nearly any subject interesting if you develop the skills to communicate effectively i will always have a special place in my heart for dr colleen guiry she has been my primary-care physician for as long as i can remember and has helped me through some very difficult experiences dr guiry has believed in me and provided emotional support when i didn t believe in myself she has been more than a physician to me acting more like a cheerleader and a motivator she has always let me know how amazed she is at the happiness i bring to other people s lives her kind words and her caring deeds have taught me the importance of positive self-esteem self-acceptance and service to others perhaps the most profound lessons i have learned have come from the hundreds of direct support professionals dsp i have had the privilege of working with and training for those who are not familiar with this segment of our workforce dsps work in community settings supporting people with disabilities and making their lives more meaningful all too often dsps are underappreciated and poorly compensated for the work they do i want to publicly thank them for the wonderful perspective they have brought to my life paul boynton is one of the most effective leaders i have ever met he is the author of begin with yes a short conversation that will change your life forever he is also the president and ceo of moore center services a new hampshire non-profit agency that supports individuals with developmental disabilities and acquired brain disorders helps senior citizens remain independent and offers professional development to the direct support workforce paul has influenced my life in many ways he has taught me that leadership comes from ones actions and not merely from ones position or title and he helped me to see the joy that comes from celebrating differences among people he encouraged me to take action on my early ideas about live live your passion acknowledgements

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xii xiii your passion and ultimately he is the reason i wrote this book finally i would like to acknowledge sarah webster for her professional proofreading services without sarah s input this book would not be complete sarah is a skilled professional who has taught me a lot about the writing process her contact information can be found in the resources section at the back of this book forward a life is often complicated and difficult most of us have had setbacks and disappointments which have left us discouraged unfocused and stuck life is also filled with opportunities and new beginnings and most of us have dreams and hopes that sometimes feel beyond our reach because we lack a clear pathway and the confidence to step or better yet leap into the unknown scott trudo s book live your passion helps us navigate through those difficult times while showing us how to forge ahead and make dreams come true scott not only wrote the book he s lived it his candor sense of humor and true desire to share his life in order to help others live theirs is truly passion in action the book you are about to read will help you discover your authentic self and then show you how to turn passion into action it will generate results that will take your breath away live your passion is easy to read simple to use and absolutely delivers results it s grounded in the day-to-day realities that we all face filled with inspiring examples of people who are living fulfilled and meaningful lives and optimistic yet practical in ways that always ring true i love this book need this book and am grateful to have it by the side of my bed to keep me focused keep me moving and live your passion

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xiv 1 keep me believing in my dreams and my own power to make those dreams come true now turn the page and begin your journey it will change your life forever ­ paul boynton chapter 1 introduction a don t aim for success if you want it just do what you love and believe in and it will come naturally david frost this is a very personal book i wrote it to both inspire and inform you inspire you to take action and move the obstacles that are keeping you from living a happy and fulfilling life inform you about my own life experiences and how i used them to ultimately discover happiness and fulfillment live your passion outlines the step-by-step process i applied to move from a place of hopelessness and despair to a place of inner peace happiness and passion the idea of living a life of passion is certainly not new many of us do live such a life dedicated to causes or organizations we believe in some of us are passionate about our careers for others it s that hobby we carve out time for each week that brings us joy and excitement passion does not stem exclusively from one area it is different for each of us as it should be in the informal research i have done i have come to the sad conclusion that many people feel something is missing they lack a sense of inner peace and happiness many people can t express exactly what is missing or how to find live your passion

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2 3 it but they know something is lacking in their lives with each passing day happiness seems more and more elusive this feeling has become more prevalent in these difficult uncertain times when so often we hear about a global financial crisis and rising unemployment rates many people are asking themselves am i safe or what will my future look like in this environment of uncertainty people feel stress and strain in a number of areas at work in their relationships within their communities finances health you name it finding a sense of passion in life would at the very least be a welcome distraction and at best a life-changing experience passion is elusive so what does it mean to live your passion is it even realistic given the economic and political landscape of today passion like happiness can be elusive i believe we all set out to be happy and have passion in our lives but we get sidetracked it s like that expression life happens that expression accurately describes what most of us feel on our way to happiness think about it financial challenges job dissatisfaction divorce and a host of other things can happen to shift our focus and make us lose all those passion-filled intentions this book will act as your personal step-by-step guide to help you rediscover what passion means in your life and to act on that discovery the process outlined in subsequent chapters will help you discover the authentic you a prerequisite to inner peace and happiness it will help you explore life s options and give you the tools you need to plan your journey live your passion if you follow the process outlined in this book and complete the exercises you will see and feel changes in your life in fact i m living proof that this book can literally change your life for the better my story i like to describe myself as a pretty happy guy i am proud to use that label because i view happiness as one of my most important values but i haven t always been a pretty happy guy i m telling you my story because i ll bet many of you too haven t always experienced happiness maybe you ve never experienced and have searched desperately for it i wrote this book to help you find it life was good i was born in the late 1950s i m a middle-aged guy with a loving wife and amazing kids that make me proud every day i live in southern new hampshire a place i love to call home after college i worked my way into a position that many people were striving for secure job in a growing industry clear career ladder good income fortune 500 company great family life really was good in fact life was so good that by the early 1990s i had developed the skills knowledge and confidence to leave that secure corporate world and venture out on my own i started a small company where i did management and sales training and consulting i worked with companies and trained salespeople all over the world i took on a partner we grew we traveled life was good chapter 1 introduction

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4 5 something changed life wasn t good anymore in 1995 my world changed an honest observer might have said it was the beginning of the end that i would not find my way back i will spare you all the details of my journey but offer the following milestones as they provide a context for my philosophy and my reasons for creating live your passion · in 1995 i was deeply depressed due in part to a divorce i was prescribed and began taking antidepression medication · in 1995 i was misdiagnosed as having bipolar disorder my psychiatrist prescribed and i began taking additional medications to treat bipolar disorder and anxiety · over the next several years i experienced many bouts with deep depression i was hospitalized for depression · between 1995 and 2002 my work became more and more difficult to manage the medications i was taking had serious side effects which included anxiety and loss of cognitive functioning · by 2002 i had been prescribed over 12 anti-psychotic mood stabilizer and anti-anxiety medications and was taking handfuls of pills daily · my sense of self-worth was at an all-time low i wanted to feel normal but was overcome by feelings of anxiety and depression it seemed that the harder i tried the worse i felt at 44 years old i felt i had failed my family and myself i felt totally out of control in most areas of my life i visited the blackest holes and experienced the deepest despair i even entertained thoughts of suicide live your passion this downward spiral can become anyone s reality after all i was a professional with the income and trappings of success on the outside i had it all on the inside i was empty on the inside i was dying life got better lots better in 2002 i needed to make a change i needed to slow down the pace of my life and try to reduce the stress that i was feeling i also needed to feel that i was contributing in a more meaningful way to other people s lives and happiness so i left the stressful some would say glamorous world of corporate america and began my work as a direct support professional dsp at moore center services where i helped support individuals with developmental disabilities life got better i found that the real key to happiness is not found in financial gain true happiness comes from dedicating your life to serving others after beginning my new career as a dsp my life began to change as my focus shifted from my own pain to helping others live meaningful lives i started to feel a new sense of self-worth it was the start of a wonderful and exciting new journey this shift in focus has without a doubt been the most important and profound lesson i have learned in life it has helped me discover the keys to my happiness and living a life of passion four years later i experienced near-death complications from sleep apnea surgery while undergoing a routine set of procedures to eliminate my sleep disorder my throat swelled up making it impossible to remove the breathing tube that was allowing me to breathe while under anesthesia my condition rapidly worsened ultimately chapter 1 introduction

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6 7 resulting in six days of unconsciousness double-lung pneumonia a blood clot in one lung a bone infection a temporarily paralyzed right arm and a host of other complications in the end i had spent nearly two weeks in the intensive care unit icu and a total of about three weeks in the hospital while this may sound like something that belongs on the something changed life wasn t good anymore list it proved to be a valuable turning point in my life you see during my hospitalization i was not receiving psychiatric medication this was because most of the time i was in the intensive care unit where i was kept asleep breathing with the help of a respirator when i awoke and was recovering i started to sip small amounts of fluid but still didn t take psychiatric medications and guess what as it turned out i didn t need them my mind became clear and strong i was happy and grateful to be alive that same year my psychiatrist took me off all psychiatric medications and a year later she discharged me as a patient in a conversation i had with her when i was trying to understand how such a mistake could have happened she reinforced the fact that it was unusual and i was very lucky she pointed out that she had not been my original psychiatrist and had not given me the diagnosis of bipolar disorder in her opinion i had been misdiagnosed life is good really good again today i live once again as a pretty happy guy i have found a true life partner in my wife cathy and my kids continue to amaze me my work is dedicated to helping others develop their full potential and be who they want to be live your passion professionally i am still at moore center services but now serve as the director of workforce development where i work with a great team of people helping to create a professional skilled workforce i have become an advocate for the direct support workforce helping to educate others about the skilled work they do when i am not playing that role i help others develop personally and professionally by facilitating live your passion workshops writing and providing personal coaching throughout my life i have had the support of a loving family and good friends my parents taught me that happiness in life comes in large part from helping those less fortunate while i may not have always understood that concept today it is a value i live by i care deeply and feel passionate about a number of causes i hope my story offers you hope and a sense of comfort you are not alone you may not be at a crossroads in your life you may not be suffering as i did you may however want more of what all of us are entitled to happiness something you do deserve i wish you well and good luck on your journey how to get the most from this book getting the most from personal development material takes more than a quick once-over read i have found some useful tips that make the difference between just enjoying the material and motivating me to take action taking action is what i hope you will do taking action is another step toward realizing that goal of personal and professional happiness chapter 1 introduction

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8 9 below is a list of suggestions to help you get the most out of this book · each chapter has a main point it is often a step in the live your passion process consider that point carefully · read actively regularly ask yourself does this make sense and how can i apply this in my own life · consider the examples and the real-life stories presented chapter 7 do you have anything in common with the people in these stories can you see those qualities in yourself if not which ones would you like to adopt can you begin to change · reflect on those times in your life where you were stuck did you use techniques to get unstuck that reflect ideas presented in this book · set aside specific uninterrupted time to work on the exercises at the end of each chapter do them in the order presented don t rush pay close attention to the exercises in chapter 3 discovering the authentic you these will create the foundation and set the direction for all the other work you will do this book can be a catalyst for positive change in your life your future is literally in your hands it is up to no one but you using the process described in this book you can realize any dream achieve any goal and design the life you want to live enjoy the process chapter 2 process overview a life is a process of becoming a combination of states we have to go through where people fail is that they elect a state and remain in it this is a kind of death anais nin winter of artifice life is a process of becoming simple as that may seem think about it much of what we do and become in life can be looked at in process terms take learning a new skill for example like driving a car we must follow several steps starting with turning on the car followed by putting the car in gear taking our foot off the brake and so on processes involve steps that when taken in the right order produce our desired result begin to look at the pursuit of your life s passions in this way and you will start making strides toward getting the results you want happiness a wonderful byproduct i define happiness as a feeling we get when we do things we enjoy and have experiences that make us feel good it really is a byproduct of our actions in the context of live your passion happiness is the byproduct of engaging in activities and experiences we choose because they are consistent with what we want our life to be about our passions live your passion

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10 11 sonja lyubomirsky ph.d professor of psychology at the university of california riverside has conducted extensive research on happiness in our society her research points out some interesting facts · nationally representative samples of u.s adults indicate that slightly more than half of us 54 are moderately mentally healthy yet not flourishing that is we lack great enthusiasm for life and are not actively and productively engaged with the world studies show that 50 of individual differences in happiness are determined by genes 10 by life circumstances and 40 by our intentional activities money really doesn t buy happiness the richest americans those earning more than 10 million dollars annually report levels of personal happiness only slightly greater than the office staffs and bluecollar workers they employ happy people accrue more money one example of such a happiness benefit is that those who are happy as college freshmen have higher salaries 16 years later when they are in their mid-30s without an initial wealth advantage happy women find good marriage partners another example of such a happiness benefit is that women who express sincere joy in their college yearbook photos are relatively more likely to be married by age 27 and more likely to have satisfying marriages at age 52 while doing research for this book i discovered many credible studies from colleges and universities around the world that pointed to the same conclusion we are happiest as human beings when we are engaged in pursuits of our choice that give us a sense of purpose our happiness often stems from the following · · · · · making connections with and offering service to others practicing gratitude and positive thinking living in the present maintaining good health body spirit mind living an active life · · the live your passion process can help you achieve happiness how you apply the process in your own life is up to each of you the key point here is that the process can be used by anyone to achieve the same wonderful ­ result happiness · · live your passion chapter 2 process overview

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12 13 anatomy of the process the live your passion process is made up of the following three parts discovering the authentic you exploring life s options and planning your journey see figure 2.1 below works based on my decades of self-study and my own life experiences my work represents a collection of many ideas put into a useable framework that can help you make positive changes in your own life let s go in the following chapters we will look at each part of the process individually and how each can transform your life i will show you why each part is important and how you can incorporate each part into your life i will also give you exercises to help you live your passion to the fullest i will share ideas and approaches that have worked for me and can work for you i will discuss how the mind live your passion chapter 2 process overview

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15 chapter 3 discovering the authentic you the principle of insight a trust yourself create the kind of self that you will be happy to live with all your life make the most of yourself by fanning the tiny inner sparks of possibility into flames of achievement golda meir getting to know you discovering the authentic you involves applying the principle of insight or self knowledge it helps you answer the basic question who am i in order to answer that basic question you need to ask yourself some additional questions like what do i care deeply about what do i stand for what do i want my life to be about once you know who you are on the outside you are ready to learn about your authentic or true self or who you really are deep inside where your conscience lives your positive emotions such as love joy and compassion flow from within your authentic self what makes you happy what do you love about those closest to you what moves you?

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