p. 1

[close]

p. 2

[close]

p. 3

kristin and i would like to dedicate this book to lgbt teens gender preference does not define you your spirit defines you it gets better we heart you no matter what they say life is really about love always love.

[close]

p. 4

[close]

p. 5

acknowledgments as always we would like to thank our st martin s press family it s great to be able to say we honestly love and respect our publisher we heart our agent meredith bernstein without whom the house of night would not exist thank you to our fans who are the smartest coolest best readers in the universe and a special thank-you to our hometown supporters who have made the house of night tulsa tour such fun we heart stephen schwartz for allowing us to use the lyrics of his magickal song jack hearts you too stephen p s to joshua dean from phyllis thanks for the quotes heeheeheehees!

[close]

p. 6

[close]

p. 7

contents cover title page dedication acknowledgments chapter one chapter two chapter three chapter four chapter five chapter six chapter seven chapter eight chapter nine chapter ten chapter eleven chapter twelve chapter thirteen chapter fourteen chapter fifteen chapter sixteen chapter seventeen chapter eighteen chapter nineteen chapter twenty chapter twenty-one chapter twenty-two chapter twenty-three chapter twenty-four chapter twenty-five chapter twenty-six also by p c cast and kristin cast copyright

[close]

p. 8

chapter one neferet a disquieting sense of irritation awakened neferet before she had truly departed that amorphous place between dreams and reality she reached out with her long elegant fingers and felt for kalona the arm she touched was muscular his skin was smooth and strong and pleasing beneath her fingertips all it took was that small feather-like caress he stirred and turned eagerly to her my goddess his voice was husky with sleep and the beginnings of renewed desire he annoyed her they all annoyed her because they were not him leave me kronos she had to pause and search her memory to remember his ridiculous overly ambitious name goddess have i done something to displease you neferet glanced up at him the young son of erebus warrior was reclining on the bed beside her his handsome face open his expression willing his aquamarine eyes just as striking in the dimness of her candlelit bedroom as they had been earlier that day when she d watched him training in the castle courtyard he d stirred her desires then and with one inviting look from her he d willingly come to her and futilely though enthusiastically attempted to prove that he was god in more than namesake alone the problem was that neferet had been bedded by an immortal thus she knew all too intimately just how much of an imposter this kronos truly was breathe neferet said meeting his blue eyes with a bored glance breathe goddess his brow decorated by a tattoo pattern that was supposed to represent ball and mace weaponry but to neferet appeared more like frilly fourth of july fireworks furrowed in confusion y asked what you d done to displease me and i told you you re breathing and in much too close a proximity to me that displeases me it s ou time you depart my bed neferet sighed and flicked her fingers at him in dismissal go now she almost laughed aloud at his undisguised look of hurt and shock had the youth really believed he could replace her divine consort the impertinence of the thought fueled her anger in the corners of neferet s bedchamber shadows within shadows quivered in anticipation though she didn t acknowledge them she felt their stirrings it pleased her kronos you were distracting and for a brief time you gave me a measure of pleasure neferet touched him again this time not so gently and her fingernails left twin raised welts down his thick forearm the young warrior didn t flinch or pull away instead he trembled beneath her touch and his breathing deepened neferet smiled she d known this one needed pain to feel desire the instant his eyes had met hers i would give you more pleasure if you allowed it he said neferet smiled her tongue flicked out slowly licking her lips as she watched him watch her perhaps in the future perhaps for now what i require of you is to leave me and of course to continue to worship me would that i could show you how much i long to worship you again the last word was spoken as a verbal caress and mistakenly kronos reached for her as if it was his right to touch her as if her wishes were subservient to his needs and desires one small echo from neferet s distant past a time she thought she d buried with her humanity seeped from the entombed memories she felt her father s touch and even smelled the reek of his rancid alcohol-soaked breath as her childhood invaded the present neferet s response was instantaneous as easily as breathing she lifted her hand from the warrior s arm and held it palm outward at the closest of the shadows lurking at the edges of her chamber darkness responded to her touch even more quickly than had kronos she felt its deadly chill and reveled in the sensation especially as it banished the rising memories with a nonchalant motion she scattered the darkness at kronos saying if it is pain you so desire then taste my cold fire the darkness neferet hurled at kronos penetrated his young smooth skin eagerly slicing ribbons of scarlet through the forearm she had so recently caressed he moaned though this time more in fear than passion now do as i command leave me and remember young warrior a goddess chooses when and where and how she is touched do not overstep yourself again gripping his bleeding arm kronos bowed low to neferet yes my goddess which goddess be specific warrior i have no desire to be called by ambiguous titles his response was instantaneous nyx incarnate that is your title my goddess her narrowed look softened neferet s face relaxed into its mask of beauty and warmth very good kronos very good see how easy it is to please me caught in her emerald gaze kronos nodded once then fisting his right hand over his heart he said y my goddess my nyx and backed es reverently from her chamber neferet smiled again it was unimportant that she was not actually nyx incarnate the truth was neferet wasn t interested in being cast in the role of an incarnate goddess that implies i am lesser than a goddess she spoke to the shadows gathered around her what was important was power and if the title nyx incarnate aided her in the acquisition of power especially with the sons of erebus warriors then that was the title by which she would be called but i aspire to more much more than standing in the shadow of a goddess soon she would be ready to take her next step and neferet knew some of the sons of erebus would be manipulated into standing beside her oh not enough of them to actually sway a battle with their physical force but enough of them to fragment the warriors morale by setting brother against brother men she thought disdainfully so easily fooled by the masks of beauty and title and so easily used to my advantage the thought pleased her but wasn t distracting enough to keep neferet from restlessly leaving her bed she wrapped a sheer silk robe around

[close]

p. 9

herself and moved from her chamber out into the hallway before she d given conscious thought to her actions she was heading to the stairwell that would take her to the bowels of the castle shadows within shadows drifted after neferet dark magnets drawn by her increasing agitation she knew they moved with her she knew they were dangerous and that they fed on her unease her anger her restless mind but oddly she found a measure of comfort in their presence she paused only once in her downward descent why am i going to him again why am i allowing him to invade my thoughts tonight neferet shook her head as if to dislodge the silent words and spoke into the narrow empty stairwell addressing the darkness that hovered attentively around her i go because it is what i wish to do kalona is my consort he was wounded serving me it is only natural that i think of him with a self-satisfied smile neferet continued down the winding stairwell easily repressing the truth that kalona had been wounded because she had entrapped him and the service he performed for her was a forced one she reached the dungeon carved centuries ago from the rocky earth that made up the isle of capri at the bottommost level of the castle and moved silently down the torch-lit hallway the son of erebus warrior standing watch outside the barred room couldn t hide his jolt of surprise neferet s smile widened his shocked look tinged with fear told her that she was getting better and better at appearing to materialize from nothing but shadows and night that lightened her mood but not enough to add the softness of a smile to temper the cruel edge of command in her voice leave i wish to be alone with my consort the son of erebus hesitated only a moment but that slight pause was enough for neferet to make a mental note about being sure in the next few days that this particular warrior would be called back to venice perhaps because of an emergency regarding someone close to him priestess i leave you to your privacy but know that i am within the sound of your voice and will respond to your call should you need me without meeting her eyes the warrior fisted his hand over his heart and bowed though too slightly to suit her neferet watched him retreat down the narrow hallway yes she whispered to the shadows i can feel that something quite unfortunate is going to happen to his mate smoothing the sheer silk of her wrap she turned to the closed wooden door neferet drew a deep breath of the damp dungeon air she swept the thick fall of her auburn hair back from her face baring her beauty as if girding herself for battle neferet waved her hand at the door and it opened for her she stepped into the room kalona lay directly on the earthen floor she d wanted to make a bed for him but discretion had dictated her actions it really wasn t that she was keeping him imprisoned she was simply being wise he had to complete his mission for her that was what was best for him if his body regained too much of its immortal strength it would be a distraction for kalona an unfortunate distraction especially as he d sworn to act as her sword in the otherworld and to rid them of the inconvenience zoey redbird had created for them in this time this reality neferet approached his body her consort lay flat on his back naked with only his onyx wings as a veil-like covering she sank gracefully to her knees and then reclined facing him on the thick fur pelt she d ordered placed beside him for her convenience neferet sighed she touched the side of kalona s face his flesh was cool as it always was but lifeless he showed no reaction whatsoever to her presence what is taking so long my love could you not have disposed of one annoying child more quickly neferet caressed him again this time her hand slid from his face down the curve of his neck over his chest to rest on the indentations that defined the corded muscles of his abdomen and waist remember your oath and fulfill it so that i might open my arms and my bed to you again by blood and darkness you have sworn to prevent zoey redbird from returning to her body thus destroying her so that i might rule this magickal modern world neferet caressed the fallen immortal s slim waist again smiling secretly to herself oh and of course you shall be by my side while i rule invisible to the sons of erebus fools who were supposed to be the high council s spies the black spider-like threads that held kalona trapped against the earth shivered and shifted brushing their frigid tentacles against neferet s hand distracted momentarily by their alluring chill neferet opened her palm to darkness and allowed it to twine around her wrist cutting ever so slightly into her flesh not enough to cause her pain that was unbearable only enough to temporarily sate its unending lust for blood remember your sworn oath the words sloughed around her like the winter wind through denuded branches neferet frowned she need not be reminded of course she was aware of her oath in exchange for darkness doing her bidding entrapping kalona s body and forcing his soul to the otherworld she had agreed to sacrifice the life of an innocent darkness had been unable to taint the oath remains the bargain holds even should kalona fail tsi sgili again the words whispered around her kalona will not fail neferet shouted utterly incensed that even darkness would dare chastise her and should he i have bound his spirit as mine to command as long as he is immortal so even in failure there is victory for me but he will not fail she repeated the words slowly and distinctly regaining control over her increasingly volatile temper darkness licked her palm the pain slight though it was pleased her and she gazed at the tendrils affectionately as if they were simply overeager kittens vying for her attention darlings be patient his quest is not complete my kalona is still but a shell i can only assume zoey languishes in the otherworld not fully living and unfortunately not yet dead the threads that held her wrist quivered and for an instant neferet thought she heard the mocking ring of laughter rumbling in the distance but she had no time to consider the implications of such a sound whether it was real or just an element of the expanding world of darkness and power that consumed more and more of what she once knew as reality because at that instant kalona s entrapped body jerked spasmodically and he drew a deep gasping breath her gaze went instantly to his face so she witnessed the horror of his eyes opening even though they were nothing but empty bloody sockets kalona my love neferet was on her knees bending over him her hands fluttering around his face the darkness that had been caressing her wrists throbbed with a sudden jolt of power causing her to flinch before they shot from her body and joined a myriad of sticky tendrils that web-like hovered and pulsed against the stone ceiling of the dungeon before neferet could form a command to call a tendril to her to order an explanation for such bizarre behavior a blinding flash of light so bright and shining that she had to shield her eyes from it exploded from the ceiling the web of darkness caught it slicing through the light with inhumane sharpness and entrapping it kalona opened his mouth with a soundless scream what is it i demand to know what is happening neferet cried your consort has returned tsi sgili.

[close]

p. 10

neferet stared as the globe of imprisoned light was wrenched from the air and with a terrible hissing darkness plunged kalona s soul through the sockets of his eyes and back into his body the winged immortal writhed in pain his hands lifted to cover his face and he drew panting ragged breaths kalona my consort as she would have done when she was a young healer neferet moved automatically she pressed her palms over kalona s hands quickly and efficiently centered herself and said soothe him remove his pain make his agony like the red sun setting into the horizon gone after a momentary slash through the waiting night sky the shudders that wracked kalona s body began to lessen almost instantly the winged immortal drew a deep breath though his hands trembled he clasped neferet s tightly removing them from his face then opened his eyes they were the deep amber color of whisky clear and coherent he was completely himself again y ou ve returned to me for a moment neferet was so filled with relief that he was awake and aware that she almost wept y mission is our complete neferet brushed away the tentacles that clung stubbornly to kalona s body frowning at them because they seemed so reluctant to withdraw their hold on her lover take me from the earth his voice was gravelly with disuse but his words were lucid to the sky i need to see the sky yes of course my love neferet waved at the door and it reopened warrior my consort awakens help him to the castle rooftop the son of erebus who had annoyed her so recently obeyed her command without question though neferet noted he looked shocked at kalona s sudden reanimation wait until you know the whole of it neferet speared him a superior smirk very soon you and the other warriors will take orders only from me or you will perish the thought pleased her as she followed the two men out of the bowels of the ancient fortress of capri up and up until finally they emerged from the long length of stone steps onto the rooftop it was past midnight the moon hung toward the horizon yellow and heavy though not yet full help him to the bench and then leave us neferet ordered gesturing to the ornately carved marble bench that rested near the edge of the castle s rooftop affording a truly magnificent view of the glistening mediterranean but neferet had no interest in the beauty that surrounded her she waved away the warrior dismissing him from her mind even though she knew he would be notifying the high council that her consort s soul had returned to his body that didn t matter now that could be dealt with later only two things mattered now kalona had returned to her and zoey redbird was dead.

[close]

p. 11

chapter two neferet speak to me tell me everything slowly and clearly i want to savor each word neferet went to kalona kneeling before him stroking the soft dark wings that unfurled loosely around the immortal as he sat on the bench face raised to the night sky bronzed body bathed in the golden glow of the moon she tried to keep herself from trembling in anticipation of his touch of the return of his cold passion his frozen heat what would you have me say he didn t meet her eyes instead he opened his face to the sky as if he could drink in the heavens above them his question took her aback her lust abated and her hand ceased stroking his wing i would have you give me the details of our victory so that i might savor the retelling of it with you she spoke slowly thinking that perhaps his brain might still be slightly addled from the recent displacement of his soul our victory he said neferet s green eyes narrowed indeed you are my consort your victory is mine as mine is yours your kindness is almost divine have you become a goddess during my absence neferet studied him closely he still wasn t looking at her his voice was almost expressionless was he being impudent she shrugged off his question though she continued to watch him closely what happened in the otherworld how did zoey die she knew what he would say the instant his amber eyes finally found hers though childishly she covered her ears and began to shake her head back and forth back and forth as he spoke the words that were like a sword stroke to her soul zoey redbird is not dead neferet stood and forced her hands from her ears she stalked several paces from kalona staring unseeingly out at the liquid sapphire of the night sea she breathed slowly carefully attempting to control her seething emotions when finally she knew she could do so without shrieking in anger to the sky she spoke why why did you not complete your quest it was your quest neferet never mine y forced me to return to a realm from which i d been banished what happened was predictable ou zoey s friends rallied about her with their aid she healed her shattered soul and found herself again why did you not stop it from happening her voice was frigid she didn t so much as glance at him nyx neferet heard the name leave his lips as if he d spoken a prayer soft low reverent jealousy speared her what of the goddess she almost spat the question she intervened she did what neferet whirled around disbelief tinged with fear made her words breathless incredulous do you expect me to believe that nyx actually interfered with mortal choice no kalona said sounding weary again she didn t interfere she intervened and only after zoey had already healed herself nyx blessed her for it that blessing was part of her and her warrior s salvation zoey lives neferet s voice was flat cold lifeless she does then you owe me the subservience of your immortal soul she started to walk away from him toward the rooftop exit where are you going what will happen next disgusted by what she perceived as weakness in his voice neferet turned to him she drew herself up tall and proud and held out her arms so that the sticky threads that pulsed around her could brush her skin freely caressingly what will happen next it is quite simple i will ensure zoey is drawn back to oklahoma there on my own terms i will complete the task you failed to her retreating back the immortal asked and what of me neferet paused and glanced over her shoulder y will return to tulsa too only separately i have need of you but you cannot be with me ou publically do you not remember my love that you are a killer now heath luck s death was your doing our doing he said she smiled silkily not according to the high council she met his eyes this is what is going to happen i need you to regain your strength quickly by dusk tomorrow i will have to report to the high council that your soul has returned to your body and that you confessed to me you killed the human boy because you thought his hatred for me a threat i will tell them because you believed you were protecting me i was merciful in your punishment i only had you flogged one hundred strokes and then banished you from my side for one century kalona struggled to sit neferet was pleased to see anger flash in his amber eyes you expect to be bereft of my touch for a century of course not i will graciously allow you to return to my side after your wounds have healed until then i will still have your touch it will simply be away from the prying eyes of the public his brow lifted she thought how arrogant he looked even weakened and defeated how long do you expect me to skulk in the shadows pretending to heal from nonexistent wounds i expect you to be absent from my side until your wounds do heal with a quick precise movement neferet brought her wrist to her lips and bit deeply instantly drawing a circle of blood then she began to make a swirling motion with her uplifted arm sifting through the air while sticky threads of darkness slithered greedily around her wrist attaching to the blood like leeches she ground her teeth together forcing herself to remain unflinching even when the sharpness of the tentacles stabbed her over and over when they seemed bloated enough neferet spoke softly lovingly to them y ou ve taken your payment now you must do my bidding she looked from the throbbing strands of darkness to her immortal lover lash him deeply one hundred times neferet hurled darkness at kalona the weakened immortal only had time to unfurl his wings and begin to vault for the edge of the castle s roof the razor threads caught him midstride they wrapped around his wings at the sensitive base where they met his spine instead of leaping from the rooftop he was trapped,

[close]

p. 12

pinned against the ancient stone of the balustrade while darkness began to slowly methodically slice furrows into his naked back neferet watched only until his proud handsome head sagged in defeat and his body jerked convulsively with every cutting stroke do not mar him permanently i plan to enjoy the beauty of his skin again she said before turning her back on kalona and walking purposefully from the blood-soaked rooftop it seems i must do everything myself and there is so much to do so much to do she whispered to the darkness that flitted about her ankles from the shadows within shadows neferet thought she caught the outline of a massive bull watching her with approval and pleasure neferet smiled.

[close]

p. 13

chapter three zoey for the zillionth time i thought about what an amazing place sgiach s throne room was she was an ancient vampyre queen the great taker of heads uber-powerful and surrounded by her own personal warriors known as guardians hell way back in the day she d even taken on the vampyre high council and won but her castle wasn t a nasty-outdoor-plumbing-medieval-version-of-camping gross sgiach s castle was a fortress but it was as they say over here in scotland a posh castle i swear the view from any of the sea-facing windows but especially her throne room is so incredible that it looks like it should be on hd tv and not in front of me in real life it s beautiful here okay talking to myself especially so soon after being well kinda sorta crazy in the otherworld might possibly be a not-sogood idea i sighed and shrugged whatever with nala not here stark mostly out of it aphrodite doing stuff i d rather not imagine with darius and sgiach off doing something magickal or kicking ass in superhero-like training with seoras talking to myself seems like the only option i was simply checking my email nothing magickal or ass-kicking about that i suppose she should have made me jump i mean the queen seemed to materialize from the air beside me but i guess being all shattered and crazy in the otherworld had given me a pretty high spookiness tolerance plus i felt a weird bond with this vampyre queen y eah she was aweinspiring and had mad powers and all but in the weeks since stark and i had come back she had been a fixture by my side while aphrodite and darius played gross kissy-face and walked hand in hand on the beach and while stark slept and slept and slept sgiach and i had spent time together sometimes talking sometimes not she was i d decided days ago the coolest woman vamp or not i d ever met y ou re kidding right y ou re an ancient warrior queen who lives in a castle on an island no one can get to without you letting them and you re checking your email sounds like magick to me sgiach laughed science often feels more mysterious than magick or at least i have always thought so which reminds me i have been considering how odd it is that daylight affects your guardian with such debilitating severity it s not just stark i mean it s been worse with him recently cause well cause he s hurt i paused tripping over the words and not wanting to admit how hard it was to see my warrior and guardian so obviously messed up this really isn t normal for him he can usually stay conscious during the day even if he can t stand direct sunlight all the red vampyres and fledglings are the same about it sun does them in well young queen it could be a distinct disadvantage that your guardian is unable to protect you during the daylight hours i gave a shoulder shrug even though her words sent a shiver of what might be premonition down my spine y eah well recently i ve learned to take care of myself i think i can handle a few hours a day on my own i said with a sharpness that surprised even me sgiach s green-amber gaze caught me do not allow it to make you hard it darkness and the struggle against it don t i have to be hard to fight i remembered skewering kalona to the wall of an otherworld arena with his own spear and my stomach clenched she shook her head and the fading daylight caught the streak in her silver hair making it glisten like cinnamon and gold mixed together no you must be strong y must be wise y must know yourself and trust only those who are worthy if you allow the battle against darkness to harden ou ou you you will lose perspective i looked away staring out at the gray-blue waters that surrounded the isle of skye the sun was setting into the ocean reflecting delicate pink and coral colors across the darkening sky it was beautiful and peaceful and looked utterly normal standing here it was hard to imagine that hanging around in the world out there was evil and darkness and death but darkness was out there probably multiplied times a gazillion kalona hadn t killed me and that was really really gonna piss off neferet just the thought of what that meant that i was going to have to deal with her and kalona and all the horrible bullpoopie that went along with them again made me feel incredibly tired i turned away from the window squared my shoulders and faced sgiach what if i don t want to fight anymore what if i want to stay here at least for a while stark s not himself he needs to rest and get better i ve already sent that message to the high council about kalona they know he murdered heath and then came after me and that neferet was all involved in it and has allied herself with darkness the high council can handle neferet hell adults need to handle her and the nasty evil mess she keeps trying to make out of life sgiach didn t say anything so i took a breath and kept on babbling i m a kid seventeen barely i m crappy at geometry my spanish sucks i can t even vote yet fighting evil isn t my responsibility graduating from high school and hopefully making the change is my soul s been shattered and my boyfriend s been killed don t i deserve a break just a little one utterly surprising me sgiach smiled and said yes zoey i believe you do you mean i can stay here for as long as you wish i know what it is to feel the world press too tightly around here as you said the world is only allowed to enter at my command and mostly i command it to stay away what about the fight against darkness and evil and whatnot it will be there when you return wow seriously seriously stay here on my isle until your soul is truly rested and restored and your conscience tells you to return to your world and your life there i ignored the little pang i felt at the word conscience stark can stay too right of course a queen must always have her guardian by her side speaking of i said quickly glad to steer the subject away from questions of conscience and battling evil how long has seoras been your guardian the queen s eyes softened and her smile became sweeter warmer and even more beautiful seoras became my oath bond guardian more than five hundred years ago

[close]

p. 14

holy crap five hundred years how old are you sgiach laughed after a certain point don t you think age is irrelevant and it isna polite to ask a lassie s age even if he hadn t said anything i would have known seoras had come in the room sgiach s face changed when he was around it was like he turned on a switch and made something soft and warm glow inside her and when he gazed back at her just for a moment he didn t look so gruff and battle-scarred and i d-rather-kick-your-butt-than-talk-to-you the queen laughed and touched her guardian s arm with an intimacy that made me hope stark and i could find even a little piece of what the two of them had and if he called me lassie after five hundred years that would be pretty cool too heath would have called me lassie well more like girl or maybe just zo forever just his zo but heath was dead and gone and he d never call me anything again he s waiting for yu young queen shocked i stared at seoras heath the warrior s look was wise and understanding his voice gentle aye yur heath probably does await yu somewhere in the future but it is of yur guardian i speak stark oh good he s awake i know i sounded guilty i didn t mean to keep thinking about heath but it was hard not to he d been part of my life since i was nine and dead only for a few weeks i mentally shook myself bowed quickly to sgiach and started for the door he isna in your chamber seoras said the boy is near the grove he asked that you meet him there he s outside i paused surprised since stark had come back from the otherworld he d been too weak and out of it to do much more than eat sleep and play computer games with seoras which was actually a super weird sight it was like high school meets braveheart meets call of duty aye the lassie s done fussin about with his makeup the now and is actin like a proper guardian again i put my fist on my hip and narrowed my eyes at the old warrior he almost died y cut him to pieces he was in the otherworld give him a ou little break jeesh aye well he dinna actually die did he i rolled my eyes you said he s at the grove aye okie dokie as i hurried through the doorway sgiach s voice followed me take that lovely scarf you bought in the village it is a cold evening i thought it was a kinda strange thing for sgiach to say i mean yeah it was cold and usually wet on skye but fledglings and vamps don t feel changes in weather like humans do but whatever when a warrior queen tells you to do something it s usually best to do it so i detoured to the huge room i shared with stark and grabbed the scarf i d draped over the end of the canopied bed it was cream-colored cashmere with threads of gold woven through it and i thought it probably looked prettier hanging against the crimson bed curtains than it did around my neck i paused for a second looking at the bed i d been sharing with stark for the past weeks i d curled up with him held his hand and rested my head on his shoulder while i watched him sleep but that was it he hadn t even tried to tease me about making out with him crap he s hurt bad i mentally cringed as i recounted how many times stark had suffered because of me an arrow had almost killed him because he d taken the shot that had been meant for me he d had to be sliced up and then destroyed a part of himself to pass into the otherworld to join me he d been mortally wounded by kalona because he d believed it was the only way to reach what was shattered inside me but i d saved him too i reminded myself stark had been right watching kalona brutalize him had made me pull myself together and because of that nyx had forced kalona to breathe a sliver of immortality into stark s body returning his life and paying the debt he owed for killing heath i walked through the beautifully decorated castle nodding to the warriors who bowed respectfully to me and thought about stark automatically picking up my pace what was he thinking dragging himself outside after what he d been through hell i didn t know what he was thinking he d been different since we d been back well of course he s been different i told myself sternly feeling crappy and disloyal my warrior had made an otherworld journey died been resurrected by an immortal and then yanked back into a body that was weak and wounded but before then before we d returned to the real world something had happened between us something had changed for us or at least i d thought it had we d been super intimate in the otherworld his drinking from me had been an incredible experience it d been more than sex yeah it d felt good really really good it had healed him strengthened him and somehow it had fixed whatever had still been broken inside me allowing my tattoos to return and this new closeness with stark had made losing heath bearable so why was i feeling so depressed what was wrong with me crap i didn t know a mom would know i thought about my mom and felt an unexpected and terrible loneliness y eah she d messed up and basically chosen a new husband over me but she was still my mom i miss her the little voice inside my head admitted then i shook my head no i still had a mom my grandma was that and more to me it s grandma i miss and then of course i felt guilty because since i d been back i hadn t even called her okay sure i knew that grandma would feel that my soul had returned that i was safe she d always been super intuitive especially about me but i should have called her feeling really disappointed in myself and sad i chewed my lip and wrapped the cashmere scarf around my neck holding the ends close while i made my way across the moat-like bridge and the cold wind whipped around me warriors were lighting the torches and i greeted the guys who bowed to me i tried not to look at the creepy impaled skulls that framed the torches seriously skulls like of real dead people well they were all old and shriveled and pretty much meatless but still disgusting keeping my eyes carefully averted i followed the raised pathway over the boggy area that surrounded the land side of the castle when i got to the narrow road i turned left the sacred grove began just a little way from the castle seeming to stretch endlessly into the distance on the other side of the street i knew where it was not because i remembered being carried corpse-like past it on my way to sgiach i knew where it was because during the past weeks while stark had been recovering i d felt myself drawn to the grove when i hadn t been with the queen or aphrodite or checking on stark i d been taking long walks inside it it reminded me of the otherworld and the fact that this memory comforted and creeped me out at the same time scared me still i d visited the sacred grove or as seoras called it the croabh but i d always come to it during daylight hours never after sunset never at

[close]

p. 15

night i walked along the road torches lined the street they cast flickering shadows against the edge of the grove lending enough light so that i could make out a hint of the mossy magickal world within the boundary of ageless trees it looked different without the sun making a living canopy of branches it wasn t familiar anymore and i felt a prickly sensation across my skin like my senses were on super alert my eyes kept being pulled to the shadows within the grove were they blacker than they should be was there something not quite right lurking inside there i shivered and that s when a movement farther down the street caught at the edge of my vision my heart skittered around in my chest while i peered ahead of me half expecting wings and coldness evil and madness instead what i saw had my heart skittering for other reasons stark was there standing in front of two trees that were twisted together to form one the trees interwoven branches were decorated with strips of cloth knotted together some were brightly colored some were worn and faded and tattered it was the mortal version of the hanging tree that had stood before nyx s grove in the otherworld but just because this one was in the real world didn t mean it was any less spectacular especially when the guy standing in front of it staring up at its branches was wearing the earth-colored macuallis plaid in the traditional warrior way complete with dirk and sporran and all sorts of sexy metal-studded leather accoutrements as damien would say i stared at him as if i hadn t seen him for years stark looked strong and healthy and totally gorgeous i was distracting myself by wondering what exactly scottish guys did or didn t wear under those kilts when he turned to face me his smile lit up his eyes i can practically hear you thinking my cheeks got instantly warm especially since stark did have the ability to sense my emotions y ou re not supposed to be listening in unless i m in danger his grin turned cocky and his eyes sparkled mischievously then don t think so loud but you re right i shouldn t have been listening in cause what i was getting from you was the opposite of what i d call danger smart-ass i said but i couldn t help grinning back yep that s me but i m your smart-ass stark held out his hand to me as i reached his side and our fingers twined together his touch was warm his hand strong and steady this close to him i could see that he still had shadows under his eyes but he wasn t as deadly pale as he had been you re yourself again y eah it s taken me a while my sleep s been weird not as restful as it should be but it s like a switch flipped inside me today and i finally recharged i m glad i ve been so worried about you as i said it i realized how true that was and i also blurted i ve missed you too he squeezed my hand and tugged me closer to him all of his cocky kidding evaporated i know y ou ve felt distant and scared what s up with that i started to tell him he was wrong that i was just giving him some space to get well but the words that formed and slipped from my lips were more honest you ve been hurt a lot because of me not because of you z i ve been hurt because that s what darkness does it tries to destroy those of us who fight for light yeah well i wish darkness would pick on someone else for a while and let you rest he bumped me with his shoulder i knew what i was getting into when i swore myself to you i was cool with it then i m cool with it now and i ll still be cool with it fifty years from now and z it really doesn t make me sound very manly and guardian-like when you say darkness is `picking on me look i m being serious y want to know what s up with me well i ve been worried that you might have been hurt too bad this time i hesitated ou fighting unexpected tears as i finally understood so bad that you weren t gonna get well and then you would leave me too heath s presence was so tangible there between us that i half expected to see him step from the grove and say hey there zo no crying you snot way too much when you cry and of course that thought made it even harder for me not to bawl listen to me zoey i m your guardian y ou re my queen that s more than a high priestess so our bond is even stronger than a regular oath sworn warrior s i blinked hard that s good cause it feels like bad stuff keeps trying to tear me away from everyone i love nothing will ever take me away from you z i ve sworn my oath on it he smiled and there was such confidence and trust and love in his eyes that he made my breath catch in my throat you ll never get rid of me mo bann ri good i said softly leaning my head against his shoulder as he drew me inside the half circle of his arm i m tired of the whole leaving thing he kissed my forehead murmuring against my skin yeah me too actually i think the truth is that i m tired period i need to recharge too i looked up at him would it be okay with you if we stayed here i-i just don t want to leave and go back to to i hesitated not sure how to put what i was feeling into words to everything the good and the bad i know what you mean said my guardian it s cool with sgiach she said we could stay as long as my conscience lets me i said smiling a little wryly and right now my conscience is definitely letting me sounds good to me i m in no rush to get back to all the neferet drama that s gotta be waiting for us so we stay for a while stark hugged me we stay until you say to go i closed my eyes and rested in stark s arms feeling like a huge weight had been taken off me when he asked hey would you do something with me my response was instant and easy yep anything i could feel him chuckling that answer makes me want to change what i was gonna ask you to do not that kind of anything i gave him a little shove even though i was feeling waves of relief that stark was definitely acting like stark again no his gaze went from my eyes to my lips and he suddenly looked less cocky and more hungry and that look made my stomach shiver then he bent and kissed me hard and long and he completely took my breath away are you sure you don t mean that kind of anything he asked his voice lower and gruffer than usual no yes he grinned which is it i don t know i can t think when you kiss me like that i told him honestly then i ll have to do more of that kind of kissing he said okay i said feeling light-headed and weirdly weak-kneed okay he repeated but later right now i m going to show you how strong a guardian i am and stick to the original question i was gonna ask you he reached into the leather satchel that was strapped across his body and pulled out a long narrow strip of the macuallis plaid lifting it so

[close]