Spyglass: Volume XXIII | Issue II | October 2007


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Getting the Job Done

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Joplin High School October 2007 VOLUME XXIII ISSUE 2 SPYGLASS Getting the Job Done: Working Laws for Teenagers Photo by Nikki Burkett FBLA made the winning banner for the Homecoming Pep Assembly banner competition. The theme of homecoming this year was Mardi Gras. Take a Look Inside... Hungry? The Joplin High School lunch ladies have some recipes to share with you. PAGES 3, 5 Some of the best, worst, and wierdest of the new fall TV lineup. PAGES 7, 8 A top 10 list that you wouldn’t find on late night television. PAGE 4 Want to know what kind of person you are? Horoscopes are here to help. PAGE 6 By Morgan Bryant Juggling school, work, apply for colleges, clubs and after school activities can be very challenging. Some manage to do all of these things. Some students have found time for jobs and school. Josh Glasson, a senior who has been working since freshman year says, “It’s harder to get homework done.” Adding later, “it sucks”. Christina Mann, freshman said, “I’m busy. I have dance team and band and Stuco.” Tamara Zajac, a sophomore said, “It’s hard to balance work school.” What’s the best thing about work? “Pay Day” Tamara added with a smile. If you are looking to get a job, there are specific rules that must be followed. According to the Missouri Department of Labor, (remember that federal laws differ from the Missouri laws) people ages 14 and 15 will need to obtain a working permit to be able to work. You can find this permit at www.teensworksafe.com by clicking on Work Certificate. The permit must be signed by the parents of the working child and the super- intendent of the school district. Photo by Morgan Bryant If you are 16 years of age or older, you have no restrictions on Tamara Zajac punches in for work at TJ Maxx. There are very strict the times that you can work. But until you turn 18, you can’t work at a working laws for teenagers, especially those under the age of 16. job that is considered “hazardous”. So no coal mining, construction, or lion taming anyone. But lucky for all of us, anyone can be an actor in a motion picture or whatnot. But you also need a permit for this as well. Go to www.teensworksafe.com and click on Entertainment Work Permit Request. Teens ages 14-15 are also not allowed to do door-to-door sales. (This is not including fundraisers for schools or churches). This has been determined to be too dangerous for teens. On January 1, 2008, the minimum wage will be changed from $6.50 to $6.65 an hour. For more information on federal labor laws (and to get some totally awesome stickers and posters) go to www.youthrules.dol.gov or for Missouri labor laws (and look at some totally awesome brochures) gDo itdo wywow.udolwir.moor.gkovm/ anodrwewtwh.teaennsw4or0ksahfeo.cuomr.s this week? IN A NUTSHELL, WHAT ARE THE LAWS IN MISSOURI REGARDING STUDENT’S WORK HOURS? HOURS FOR AGES 14-15 During the school year (Labor Day through June 1) • On a school day: 3 hours, max. • Non-school day: 8 hours, max. • Only six days a week between the hours of 7 am to 7 pm • Up to 17 hours a week, max. During summer break (June 1 through Labor Day) • Up to 8 hours a day, max. • Only six days a week between the hours of 7 am to 9 pm • Up to 40 hours a week, max. Per www.dolir.mo.gov/ DID YOU WORK MORE THAN 40 HOURS THIS WEEK? 15% This is how JHS students answered in a recent survey about jobs. YES NO 85%


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2 JHS Life October 2007 October 2007 JHS Life 3 Mar2d0i 0G7raFsootball Homecoming Court Lunch Lady Recipes (so you can eat real food for once) Queen Nominees Keely Chapman:::Paige Curry::: Chocolate Pie 2 cups semi-sweet chocolate chips 1 cup sugar Proud supporter of your Joplin Eagles! Ashley Davidson:::Lauren Schwab::: Katie Stringer:::Danielle Wilson Freshman Attendent: Tessa Luper Sophomore Attendent: Krysten Weaver 1⁄2 cup of flour 1⁄4 teaspoon of salt 3 cups of milk 4 egg yolks 3 tablespoons of butter Junior Attendent: Keagan Strickland 1 1⁄2 teaspoon vanilla * Up to 10 colors in the design! * Small and large quantities! * Can locate the size, style, and color you need! * T-shirts, hoodies, fleece, caps, bags, Joplin reigns over Parkview Combine first five ingredients in sauce pan. Stir constantly until boiling. Reduce heat boil for 2 minutes. Remove from heat. Add 1 cup hot ingredients to egg yolks, stir together. Return mixture to pan. Turn stove back to medium. Stir constantly until boiling. Boil for 1-1⁄2 minutes. Remove form heat. Add butter and vanilla. Stir until melted. Pour in cold pie shell (recipe below). From Paula Bramlett and aprons! * Custom or pre-made designs! Wins Homecoming Game 48-0 Pie Crust 2 cups flour 2/3 cup of shortening * In house graphic artists! * Established in 1980 1⁄4 teaspoon of salt Cut all ingredients together until pea sized. Add 7 tablespoons of water. Mix until it is of rolling consistency. Roll on floured surface until thin. Put in pie pan. Place in 350 degrees oven until Photos by Laura Dimmit golden brown. Approximately 10 minutes. Satisfied customers include: Family Y’s, Precious Moments, Inc., Freeman and St. John’s Hospitals, local and out of town schools and universities, governmental agencies, civic organizations, churches and numerous businesses. Right: Homecoming Queen Ashley Davidson stands with her escort, senior Matt Harrison, after the results are announced at halftime. Left: Varsity cheerleaders Kendra Howard, Alexa Barlos, and Brittany Meehl pep up the spirited Joplin crowd. The Joplin fooball team is currently 6-2, with losses coming against Waynesville in their first game on August 31, and Rockhurst on October 19. There will be one more home football game against Lee’s Summit North on Friday, November 2. Speaking easy for some JHSers From Paula Bramlett Fried Rice 2 tablespoons vegetable oil 1 cup of diced chicken or your choice of meat 1⁄2 a cup chopped onions 1 teaspoon garlic powder (optional) Peppers and salt to taste, or soy sauce to taste 1 cup of mixed vegetables (peas carrots etc.) 3 cups steamed rice Put oil in a pan. Add the next five ingredients, and cook on me- 204 South Joplin Ave. Joplin, MO 64801 (417)781-9696 Monday - Friday 8:30:5:00 Contributed by Phil Travis The Joplin High School Speech and Debate team travled to Springfield on October 12 and 13 to compete in the Kickapoo/Glendale invitational tournament. Many team members participated in debate events, acting events, interpretation events and mock congress events. Varsity results: senior Adam Blood recieved 1st place overall in his Original Oratory speech entitled “Tough as Nails”; senior Tom Mourning placed 5th overall in Student Congress as he debated issues such as school prayer, creationism and evolution and the right to die; and sophomore Chris Grills came home with a 3rd place trophy in LincolnDouglas deabte for discussing the moral implications of the death penalty. Novice/beginner division results: freshmen Stewart Pence and Taysom Wallace each finished 4th place in Lincoln-Douglas debate over the death penalty; Stewart Pence placed 6th in Extemporaneous Speaking over current issues. Freshmen Dylan Prauser, Courtney Bowling and Ken Zhang were all Student Congress finalists. The team traveled to Blue Springs Varsity tourna- ment on October 19 and 20. The JHS squad had a great dium heat until the chicken or other meat is completely cooked. showing, bringing only 15 students from a squad of 60, and Mix with steamed rice. still winning 4th place overall out of 25 schools. Senior Adam Blood took 1st place overall (for the From Dolores Ogden 2nd tournament in a row) in his Original Oratory “Tough as Nails.” Adam also took 4th place in Extemporaneous Speak- Chicken Chalupa ing over a variety of domestic current issues and 4th place Shredded cheese in Public Forum debate. Senior Tom Mourning was Adam’s partner in Public Forum debate, finishing with a 4th place trophy. Tom was also a semi-finalist in Extemporaneous Flour shells 1 can cream of celery soup Speaking. Junior Shekar Dukkipati took 3rd place in Extem- 1 can of cream of chicken soup poraneous Speaking. Other notables were sophomore Olivia Watkins making to semi-finals in Original Oratory and junior Skye Smith advanced to semi-finals in Humorous Interpretation. Olivia and sophomore Alex Kent also finished with a 1⁄2 cup of milk 1 whole chicken Cook and de-bone chicken. record of 3-1 in Public Forum debate. Junior Tim Pendergraft In a bowl, combine all except cheese and shells. earned a 3-1 record in Lincoln-Douglas debate, discussing the moral implications of the death penalty. The Debating Eagles will be in action again on Put the mixture in a 9x13 dish. Pour in mixture and then cover and bake at 350 degrees. October 26-27 as the Novice debaters travel to Neosho. and the Varsity travels to Branson on October 27. Recipes continued on pg. 5


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4 Editorial October 2007 October 2007 Human Interest 5 A Top 10 List You Won’t JHS Public Opinion: Why is voting an Find on David Letterman important thing to do? By Laura Dimmit Apathy, as defined by the dictionary, is, “A lack of interest or concern, especially regarding matters of general importance or appeal; indifference.” Apathy, as by my own definition, is “The most deadly disease plaguing this generation.” Now, not every person needs to religiously read the New York Times from front to back, or be a constant, crusading advocate, but being aware and informed about the world around us is not only our right, but our obligation. And what better way is there to utilize our informed, reasoning brains than voting, the activity that allows our voices as citizens to be heard? In the 2004 presidential election, there was about a 59.9% voter turnout, nationwide, of eligable citizens. Where were the other 40.1%? Unless they were bedridden, or hermits, I have a problem seeing why they would chooose not to vote. Silence is compliance, so I guess that 40.1% are just happy as clams with the way the world is right now. I wonder how they manage to feel like that? Now, some of you are probably wondering why I think voting is so important, right? Well, here’s a nifty list of ten reasons why voting is a good and important idea. 1. Plenty of people have died for the right to do it. If you think about it, voting is one of the foundations of democracy. And, if you think about it, most of our major wars since this country was founded, have been about preserving, protecting, and spreading democracy, and therefore voting. The Revolutionary War? Check. The Civil War? Check. World War 1? Well...that taught us that trench warfare is not cool. World War II? Check! Need I go on here? If nothing else, voting is the easiest way to show your appreciation for all those that have died for this country. 2. If you don’t, then prepare to NOT complain for the next 2, 4, 6, or however many years. I personally lose respect for people that rant on about how stupid some politician is, even though, at the time, they couldn’t be bothered to go and have a say him ending up with a job in the first place. That would be like not getting vaccinated for the chicken pox and then whining when you get a huge scar on your nose. 3. They give you stickers. Um, hello! Free stuff! 4. If you vote, and you pick an honest, intelligent politician, then you should take pride in knowing that your intuition is better than most of us. Go buy a lottery ticket. 5. The ancient Greeks did it, and so should we. The philosophical principle that gives us voting is civic virtue. Civic virtue is defined by Wikipedia as “The cultivation of habits of personal living that are claimed to be important for the success of the community.” This would include things like volunteering, paying your taxes, recycling, and of course, voting. Since the Greeks had such a large part in developing democracy, we should pay them homage and go vote. Bonus points if you vote in a toga. 6. You get to be exposed to the creative, out- spoken protesters as you walk into the building. And, as everyone knows, you haven’t really lived until you’ve been heckled by a middle-aged woman with a poster board sign. At least they come up with clever slogans. 7. Voting requires learning about the candidates, which in turn requires watching the news or doing research, which engages your brain, which is always a good thing. You even cover all the core subjects: English (reading about the candidates), Math (deciphering the latest poll results), History (you’re a part of it!), and Science (what election doesn’t have some kind of scientific issue? Global warming, stem cell research, cloning, need I go on?). 8. It gives you a really good excuse to be late for something. Bad blind date lined up? “What? Our reser- vation was for 6:00? I’m so sorry, Ethel, I was voting, like every good American should.” 9. Voting gives you a say in how the government spends your money! Do you really want to just give away some money each year and hope that it’s going to be put to good use, or would you rather be sure that it is? For instance, JHS is bigger and better equipped because, a few years ago, the voters of Joplin decided that investing in our future, through a bond issue, was a good idea. I hope they’re right! 10. Do you really have a valid reason not to vote? It’s simple to do, doesn’t take very long, and soon, it could take even less time. There has been talk of an Internet voting system that would allow people to cast their ballots without even leaving the comfort of their home and their bunny slippers. How great would that be? Give them a better reason to do so, and go make the line even longer in the next election. Here’s how to register to vote. You must be 18 years or older by the day of the election, a United States citizen, and, in our case, a Missouri resident. You cannot vote if you are in prison, on probation or parole, or have been convicted of a voting-related felony or misdemeanor. You can register at the Department of Motor Vehicles or any other state public office (Social Services, etc.), or by contacting your county clerk (which, for Jasper County, is located in Carthage). To be eligible to vote, you must be registered by the fourth Wednesday prior to the election. When voting, bring some form of identification, such as a driver’s license, utility bill, or paycheck. “A lot of people have died for that right, and it is our duty. It is the only voice we have.” - Mrs. Ideker, music teacher “It is good to vote because it gives you a say in who is in charge of your coutry, and you don’t want someone stupid to be in charge, and I hate when people complain about who the president is when they didn’t even vote. So I think it’s good to vote so you can have a little say in what goes on in the country.” - Kelsey Ogden, senior “It is good to vote because when you vote, your voice is heard throughout the nation and your government hears your individual thoughts and opinions and your opinions are spread thoughout the country.” - Libby Andrew, sophomore “It is good to vote because that’s what our forefathers founded it on. So we could make the government what they wanted it to be.” -Mrs. Kruse, head counselor The Joplin High School Spyglass is published by the Newspaper class at Joplin High School, 2104 Indiana, Joplin Missouri. Editor-in-chief: Laura Dimmit Ad Manager: Qwyntynn Brown Staff writers/photographers: Nikki Burkett, Morgan Bryant, Jessica Uitts Advisor: Brenda White Recipes continued from pg. 3 Hot Fudge Pudding Cake 1-1⁄4 cup sugar, divided 7 tablespoons Hershey’s cocoa, divided 1-1⁄2 teaspoons vanilla extract 1⁄2 cup butter melted 1⁄2 cup brown sugar packed 1 cup all-purpose flour 2 teaspoons baking powder 1⁄2 cups milk 1⁄4 cup salt 1 1⁄4 cup hot water Heat oven to 350 degrees. In medium sized bowl, combine 3⁄4 cup of sugar, flour 3 tablespoons of cocoa, baking powder and salt. Blend in milk, melted butter, and vanilla. Beat until smooth. Pour batter into square pan 8x8x2 or 9x9x2. In small bowl mix remaining 1⁄2 cup of sugar, brown sugar and remaining cocoa. Sprinkle mixture evenly over batter. Pour hot water over top. DO NOT STIR! Bake 40 minutes or until center is almost set. Let it stand for 15 minutes. Spoon into dessert dishes. Spoon sauce from bottom of pan over top. Serves 8 to 10. From Janice Baker Ding Dong Cake 2 boxes of ding-dongs 2 boxes of chocolate pudding (instant) 1 large cool whip 1 chocolate Hershey’s bar (optional) Fix pudding according to directions Slice ding-dongs in half longways In cake pan or dessert dish layer ding-dongs, pudding, cool whip, etc. Grate chocolate bar on top cover and refrigerate until ready to serve. Quick and easy. Lunch ladies rock! From Dolores Ogden Getting to Know You By Qwyntnn Brown Think of a time not so long ago: before Myspace, before Facebook, before Xanga, or what have you. In this time, childhood started to recede and adulthood began to take shape in our young minds. We found ourselves responsible for our own actions without knowing the full extent of their consequences. Now, we still believe that way but are possibly even more naive in our actions. We post pictures of ourselves and slap our names all over the Internet and then assume people don’t watch our every move. Before this time of Internet obsession and addiction, someone taking your picture, reading everything you wrote, and to seeing where you are and what you are doing seemed creepy. These situations five years ago would be considered stalking and now that there are international networks set up suddenly it is okay for people to see everything about you, so you let into your life those around you without knowing who they are. Have you ever typed your name into a Google search, just to see what it would pull up? Then when you search, you find those long lists of things your name is included in. That is a little scary. To think that anybody in the world can type in those few little letters that make up the name you are labeled with for your entire life. They are able to find out almost anything they want about us maybe not just by Google, Myspace, Facebook, or Xanga, but by a combination of these they are able to find out a tremendous amount or information. How do you prevent people you don’t from seeing your information? Myspace shows when you are online and the last time you were online, both of which can be blocked. You can block your entire profile from being seen by strangers and those with which you don’t want to socialize. Abide by the cardinal rule: Don’t become “friends” with those you don’t know, and don’t post any personal information. What is Up with That? The “What Makes Me Angry” Edition By Nikki Burkett Hi, everybody, how’s it hangin’? So, what makes me mad. Well, people that are handed ev- erything they want and never have to work for it. Or, people who work really hard and never get what they deserve, or people that do nothing and think they deserve everything on a silver platter. Why do people believe they are so special? Some people are special, b ut it’s the people that don’t believe they are. For example, Laura Dimmit. She is probably the greatest person I have ever met in my life. Now, ask her if she is special, and she will laugh and you as if you were crazy. Other thing that make me angry...boys. Boys that think they are too good for anyone or anything, the boys that were you friends when you were little but once you hit high school they pretend they don’t know you. Or the boys that make varsity and pretend they didn’t have it bad for you. And the girls, the girls that are like “oh my god” and get A’s becuase they’re blonde but really they can’t even spell their own name. Or the girls that cause drama because their life wouldn’t be right without it and have the stains on their shirts from crying about NOTHING! The last thing that bothers me would have to be people that bad mouth other people without really knowing them. Wait! That is me, I guess. Oh well, I make myself angry and so does everyone else.


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6 Human Interest October 2007 October 2007 Entertainment 7 Horoscopes October 2007 By Qwyntnn Brown qab64801@yahoo.com Libra- 9/23-10/22 You get things done because you over-analyze, and because you know that they need to be done. You learn by experience, not by being taught. Sometimes you have fear of hurting others or of avoidance and that alone can keep you from pursuing your goals in life. A good career for you: Writer - you will have the motivation and peace of mind to finish a piece of work writing would be a great job for you Libra. Perfect match: Friend- Leo Love- Pisces Scorpio- 10/23-11/21 You tend to hold onto the past, you rarely forgive and forget when someone hurts you. You get jealous and territorial over numerous things. A good career for you: Politician - Being territorial could come in handy in motivating you to well in an election, your failure to let go of the past could come in handy as you attempt to get the vote. Friend: Taurus Love: Libra Sagittarius- 11/22-12/21 You always look towards the bright side of things, and have a positive outlook on life. You are eager for achievement and improvement your life has been full of accomplishments. With being optimistic an intelligent you achieve most things in strides. A good career for you: ICU Nurse - With your optimistic nature and yearning for achievement, you would comfort those in need as yo u help them pursue improvement.,\ Friend: Leo Love: Gemini Capricorn- 12/22-1/19 You naturally set high standards for your ambitions and dreams. You take on a lot at one time; sometimes maybe even biting off more than you can chew, but you always tend to get things completed. You are a rules person you love them they help you stay on task. A good career for you: Lawyer - with you wit and sense of structure you would be great at this job. Friend: Virgo Love: Capricorn Aquarius- 1/20-2/18 You hold on to your beliefs, it is very hard to get you to say another way. Society greatly benefits from people like you. A good career for you: President of a Company - You stay with your beliefs you would stick to your word and would make a good President. Friend: Virgo Love: Capricorn Pisces- 2/19-3/20 You are easily influenced by others, and yet still keep your opinions. However, you don’t share your opinions with everyone. You have an amazing personality not all get to see, but when they do your sense of humor you make lifelong friends. Not only do these things help in a friendship or relationship but your ability to listen to and help others with problems also assists in this. A good career for you: Judge- Although you have strong opinions you are able to keep them out of things. This would also assist in making decisions in court. Being a judge would be a great job for you. Friend: Leo Love: Libra Aries- 3/21-4/19 You are very adventurous, and are willing to try anything once or twice; it depends on how things go. You are always thinking on your feet, you always have a comeback line that wins the argument. In doing this you are quick-tempered but that is a characteristic about you everyone loves. A good career for you: Skydive instructor - Your daring nature will help calm divers down before the big moment. This would be the picture perfect job for you. Friend: Pisces Love: Gemini Taurus- 4/20-5/20 You are very aggressive with your ideas and daily routines. But don’t let that keep you from expanding your knowledge. Although you are a very stubborn person but it seems to work for you. A good career for you: Correction Officer - Being stubborn and hardheaded would assist you in helping others achieve their goals and your goals for them. Friend- Scorpio Love- Pisces Gemini- 5/21-6/21 You have wonderful communication skills, this helps you adjust to and fix any situation you come across. You speak your mind and don’t care what others think about your opinions and beliefs. A good career for you: Columnist - With your ability to speak your mind you would be the perfect person for this job. Friend: Leo Love: Libra Cancer- 6/22-7/22 You are very committed to what you do not only physically, but also emotionally and spiritually. No matter how hard your goal is you make sure it gets done and you do it. You make almost everyone around you feel like family and that is why your peers love you dearly. This comes in handy when motivating others to do their work. A good career for you: Teacher -with your ability to motivate others as well as yourself this would be the perfect job for you Cancer. Perfect match: Friendship- Taurus Love- Capricorn Leo- 7/23-8/22 You are a very proud person, you are very caring and always want to lend a hand. Yet sometimes it isn’t needed or wanted. You are a very stubborn person but truthful in all you do. A good career for you: Nurse - With your caring nature and stubbornness you would help even the rudest patient. Friend: Gemini Love: Scorpio Virgo- 8/23-9/22 You find a use for everything you come across. You believe that everything and everyone has a purpose in life. You are a very vulnerable person you focus more on what is happening right now than what is going to happen in the future. You are a very modest person, you don’t like attention very much and to prevent that you choose to compliment others. A good career for you: Counselor - Your ability to look at things from the good side would help many this would be a great job for you. Friend: Aries Love: Sagittarius Just in Time for Halloween: Jimmy Eat World Returns, A Saw IV Prediction Chasing the LightBy Morgan Bryant Saw: It was apparently good enough for three “different” sequels. And a new one is coming out just in time for Halloween Saw IV is directed by Darren Lynn Bousman who has give us such masterpieces as Saw III and is currently working on Repo! The Genetic Opera. Yeah. I’m not kidding. It has Paris Hilton in it so you KNOW it will be good. Saw IV stars Tobin Bell and Scott Patterson and By Laura Dimmit Who doesn’t want to buy a CD that features a peacock feather as its album art? This is the first, but certainly not the only, thing that Jimmy Eat World’s new release, Chase This Light, has going for it. One thing that I really love about Jimmy Eat World (those Hollywood people are so clever). Here is my predic- Shawnee Smith. It is rated R for sequences of grisly bloody is that they allow me to get all my angst-ridden feelings out tion. A bunch of people are going to be killed and tortured. violence (is there any other kind?) and torture throughout (hoo- without feeling guilty about it. They explore the typical teenage Very bloody and gory. Good family film. Go see it with your ray!), and for language. It comes out October 26 nationwide! subjects—love, rejection, regrets, dreams—but not in a simplis- younger siblings, or the younger generation. tic, lame way. The melodies on this CD are good, but when you stop All You Need is a Better Movie focusing on those and start focusing on the words, you won’t be sorry. One of my favorite lines comes from the song “Always Be,” when Jim Adkins sings, “I thought I was ten times smarter, love would be something that I’d just know, how are you going to know the feeling until you’ve lost it?” How many of us have heard, or been involved in, the following conversation: Idealistic young person: But how do you know when (ba duh duh duh dum) By Morgan Bryant After a fight with the lady at the box office, two car commercials, one cell phone commercial, and four really lame previews, (except Atonement, that looked kind of interesting) I was finally ready to see Across the Universe. I wanted to like this movie. I REALLY wanted this movie to be good. I’m a pretty big Beatles fan. I detest Heather Mills and will absolutely under no circumstances acknowledge the existence of The Beatles’ Love (the Cirque de Soleil show). I don’t care if it is amazing, Cirque de Soleil is weird. Here’s the premise of the story. Boy meets girl. Boy falls for girl. Boy and girl sing Beatles songs. Picture from http://www.allocine.com Boy and girl star in crappy movie. OK, it wasn’t totally Evan Rachel Woods stars as Lucy in “Across the Universe” you’re really in love? Wise older person: Oh, honey, you’ll just know. Idealistic young person: But HOW? I, for one, have been. Something else wonderful about this album is how many different ways a driving guitar riff can be used—it’s a basic component of most of the songs on Chase This Light, and yet no two of them sound similar. (Go listen to the All American Rejects a few times, and you will really begin to appreciate this, trust me.) However, Jimmy Eat World does not stay completely within their typical sound this time. The song “Gotta Be Somebody’s Blues” is -- not-surprisingly -- bluesy, but also sounds more than a little like something off a Pink Floyd album, with its eerie string arrangements and spacey vocal delivery. There’s even a song, “Feeling Lucky,” devoted to something all you guys out there should be familiar with—girls that make you love them and then ruin your life. crappy, but it wasn’t very good. It was about an hour lon- As the CD says, “The beauty is in what you make it, ger than it needed to be. Although at times some would call it ‘visually stunning’, it couldn’t make up for the weak plot. Well, let’s talk about the characters. We follow a man named Jude who lives in Liverpool who comes to America. Get it? The Beatles are from Liverpool. Get it? He comes to Alright you guys. This is going to be hard for me. But I’m going to say something positive about this movie. I was surprised at how well the songs were actually done. I was also surprised how much ‘Jude’ (Jim Sturgess) looked like one of the Beatles, mainly Paul McCartney. That was pretty creepy. Not the Paul so get up on your feet...” and go buy Chase this Light. Or, for all you picky I-only-buy-selected-tracks-on-iTunes people, go buy these: Big Casino, Carry You, Electable (Give it Up), Chase this Light, and Here it Goes (but only if you’re likely to throw a dance party in the near future). American to find his father whom he’s never met. On the way McCartney now. The Paul McCartney back in the day when he he meets a guy named Max and Max’s sister Lucy. Soon he wasn’t associated with the #$@*% that is Heather Mills. We falls for Lucy and they start singing together. Oh, and this love you Paul! movie is set in the 60’s so they do drugs a lot and start protests The Beatles are one of the greatest, if not THE great- at all signs of authority. est, musical groups ever. It is hard to redo something that has The middle of the movie is basically just on big acid already been done so well. Beatles songs are best performed trip. They go on the Magical Mystery Tour and meet Mr. Kite by The Beatles. But the stars in this movie held their own. Did the “circus master”. You may remember him from “For the they really need a movie to do that? Mmm... not really. Benefit of Mr. Kite!” Although you probably don’t. It’s alright. Now for my final thoughts on the movie. It could I still love you. Just go back and listen to your Fall Out Boy. have been a lot better. It’s the freakin’ Beatles! Towards the In order to tie in more Beatles songs, they named the charac- end of the movie, it just seemed like they were trying to fit as ters after Beatles songs (clever, eh?). They have Jude (Hey many songs as they could. Did I like it? Not really. Would I see Jude), Lucy (Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds), Max (Max- it again? Maybe (if I were on an acid trip). well’s Silver Hammer), and Prudence (Dear Prudence) among Across the Universe stars Jim Sturgess, Evan Rachel others. Here’s my question. Where’s Penny? Where’s Eleanor? Wood, and Joe Anderson. It is rated PG-13 for some drug con- Nice job guys. You use Molly from “Ob-la-di Ob-la-da” and tent, nudity (ew!), sexuality, violence and language, and is an you don’t use Michelle from “Michelle”? Weak. agonizing 2 hours and 11 minutes long. Oh, check for cameos Here’s another question I have. In the magical world from Bono, Selma Hayek, and Eddie Izzard. Because the first of musicals, do they hear the music playing in the background person that everyone thinks of when they hear The Beatles is when they start singing? Does everyone hear the music? Or do Selma Hayek. they just see one crazy guy singing for no particular reason?


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8 Entertainment October 2007 Fall Television: the good, bad, and “real” Rock of Love? Better, Stronger, Faster ....Mmm, not so much. By Morgan Bryant Fall means only one thing. New television shows. One of the shows that has been receiving a lot of hype is Bionic Woman. It’s a remake of the show The Bionic Image from http://www.dailymail.co.uk Woman (clever title,Michelle Ryan is the new Bionic Woman eh?) from the 70’s, which means none of you have ever heard of it. We follow a woman named Jaime Sommers (played by British actor Michelle Ryan). She’s a fairly average person until she is involved in a devastating car wreck. In order to ‘save her life’ both of her legs, one of her arms, one eye, and one ear are replaced...with bionic parts. Webster’s dictionary defines ‘bionic’ as “having normal biological capability or performance enhanced by or as if by electronic or electromechanical devices.” So, there you go. It’s an actual word. But unfortunately, Jaime does not want her new bionic parts. Mainly because people start randomly attacking her once she receives them. And the company that paid the 50 million dollars for the bionic parts wants her to work for them. Why? “We’re a clandestine organization dedicated to preventing rogue organizations from taking over the planet.” (Lame). Wow. That’s a pretty heavy burden to bear (and some pretty crappy writing). Hope you guys don’t screw up. Here’s my question, if your whole purpose of living is to keep the planet from harm, why are you hiring someone who doesn’t want to help you? Too bad they killed off Captain America. Bionic Woman is basically just like every other show on television; the CSI’s, the Law and Order’s, the Criminal Minds’, etc. So if you’re lame and don’t like change, go ahead and watch Bionic Woman. But if you’re looking for something different and exciting to watch, check out Pushing Daisies on ABC. It’s bright, it’s colorful, it has a great story plot, and it’s nothing like Bionic Woman (which makes it amazing). Although it’s not the best thing on TV right now, Bionic Woman doesn’t have much competition in the 8:00 time slot. Its only other competitions on the local channels are Criminal Minds on CBS, Kitchen Nightmares on FOX (oooh... scary), and Private Practice on ABC. If anybody reading this watches Private Practice, punch yourself in the face. If you’re only going to watch one show on Wednesdays, watch Pushing Daisies. If you’re going to watch two shows every Wednesday, push rewind on your TiVo and watch Pushing Daisies again. Bionic Woman is on every Wednesday on NBC at 8:00, or you could watch paint dry, which might be slightly more interesting. Nielsens Ratings: October 1-7 1. CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 2. Dancing With the Stars 3. Grey’s Anatomy 4. Chicago vs. Green Bay 5. Desperate Housewives 6. House 7. NCIS 8. Dancing with the Stars (results) 9. CSI: Miami 10. Criminal Minds 11. Without a Trace 12. Survivor: China 13. Two and a Half Men 14. Pushing Daisies 14. Cold Case 16. CSI: NY 17. Private Practice 18. Heroes 19. Brothers & Sisters 20. Extreme Makeover: Home Edition By Nikki Burkett The show on VH1, star- ring the lead singer of the 80’s hair band Poison Bret Michaels, had a not-so-surprising ending to it. It was the typical VH1 “searching for love” show. There was the ohso-creepy woman who would do anything to get the guy, including getting completely trashed and walk--no--crawl, on a glass bar. Not a pole kind of bar, the kind of bar that serves alcohol. Or the stupid girl that knows they are going to be together so she gets his name tattooed on the back of her neck. If you are going to get a guy’s name tattooed on the back of your neck, make sure that you are the only one dating him at the time. And there was the quiet standoffish girl who is always eliminated in the semi-final show and the last two are the crazy girl and the stupid girl. Well, there is one thing I have to say for Bret Michaels: he did pick the semi-normal quiet girl. So bravo to you, Mr. Michaels, bravo to you. I will admit that I did have some sort of guilty pleasure in this show, and I hope there will be another season, because we all know that there is more money in a second season than in true love. “Everybody Lies” and Other Lessons from House By Laura Dimmit “I thought I’d get your theories, mock them, then em- brace my own. The usual.” This may be House in a nutshell, but even as it begins its fourth season on FOX, the formula never gets old. For any of you who have not yet discovered the comedic genius of Hugh Laurie (who does a near-amazing job of never slipping into his British accent while acting), the last episode of season three left House without the three members of his diagnostic team. Now, in the first episode of the season, he does everything in his power to avoid hiring, or even interviewing new doctors. This leads him to consult a janitor whose diagnosis is always lupus, a magic-8 ball, and random EMTs dealing with burn victims. When not concerned with Megan, the victim of a sudden building collapse that has a constant fever, House deals with the kidnapping of his guitar by Wilson, the oncologist and only person in the entire hospital who willingly befriends him. The best thing about this show is, hands down, the witty, intelligent writing. The character of Greg House could have easily turned into the stereotypical “I hate the world” character, but instead the writers have given him layers of depth that, even at his nastiest, make it impossible to hate him. Episode two keeps the season rolling by introducing us to an array of potential new doctors being forced to play along with House’s twisted, Survivor-esque tests. My personal favorites so far are the Indian guy, #9 (you’ll recognize him from “Harold and Kumar Go to Whitecastle”), the semi-mysterious #13, and a thirty-something plastic surgeon who has questionable morals, but a good heart. The patient of the week is a potential astronaut who, for seemingly no reason, starts HEARING with her EYES. If that doesn’t catch your attention, then maybe the preview for episode three will—the “patient of the week” starts to bleed green. As we discover, he is a wheelchair-bound man with muscular atrophy with a service dog. However, House’s attention is drawn towards a clinic patient who comes in and sticks a knife into a wall socket, not in an attempt to kill himself, but in an attempt to “almost kill himself.” This leads House on a dangerous quest to discover what the afterlife is all about, and if it’s even real at all. House is a rarity in the TV world today--it displays consistent quality acting, a witty script, and plot twists that rarely stray into the predictable. It airs every Tuesday at 8:00 pm on FOX. (Viewer discretion is advised, but only if you’re squeamish.)



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